Name reaction

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Name reaction

Post  Tara on Fri Jul 13, 2018 9:08 pm

There's a guy in the office whose name is my birth name. I have caught myself more than once turning to respond when someone addressed him by name. Given that the name is a common one, this has happened to me a few times in other places, too.

This is despite over eight years of transition. It's hard to unlearn half a century of habit!

On the other side of the coin, I generally respond quickly to my chosen name, so that's good. Better than standing around thinking "I wonder who they're talking to." Laughing

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Re: Name reaction

Post  Lesley Niyori on Fri Jul 13, 2018 9:21 pm

I altered my spelling. But Leslie or Lesley, it pretty much sounds the same. Robert to Roberta was also not much of a change.
My new maiden name was a big thing for me though.

I never hated my name for the most part. And several years of people thinking my name was a girls name was interesting too.

I hated my previous occupant, not so much the name.
I went to Lesley so that in print form I could make a distinction.

In retrospect, I probably should have gone to a full-on change.

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Re: Name reaction

Post  MichaelaSJ on Sat Jul 14, 2018 8:40 am

That is one of the reasons I chose Miki/Michaela. I'll not change my surname as that is something that belongs to me - my family history and I see no reason to toss it to the curb.

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If you don't want a man unhappy politically, don't give him two sides to a question to worry him; give him one. Better yet, give him none. Let him forget there is such a thing as war. If the Government is inefficient, top-heavy, and tax-mad, better it is all those than that people worry over it. Peace, Montag.
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Re: Name reaction

Post  Abby on Sat Jul 14, 2018 10:20 pm

Umm, my old name is very common (both first and surname are in the top 5 ), so kind of got used to not responding in a non work environment. Although saying that I sometimes hear it mumbled some times there , normally when some one says some thing and leaves. I don't know if I am miss hearing or not, and don't want to appear a deaf and grumpy cow by asking what they said. Depends on my level of paranoia and angisty that day.

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To those who've survived: Breath. That's it. Once more. Good. Your good. Even if you're not, you're alive. That is a victory. Jemisin

I am dyslexic, and normally use a smart phone to interact with the world. So the words written may not be the words intended to be used.
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Re: Name reaction

Post  Jehanne on Tue Jul 17, 2018 1:37 am

I use both names at work -- I usually call myself "Dawn" but if some calls me "Don", it's no big deal.

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Re: Name reaction

Post  Tara on Tue Jul 17, 2018 2:51 am

Jehanne wrote:I use both names at work -- I usually call myself "Dawn" but if some calls me "Don", it's no big deal.

Depending on where you live, those two names may be pronounced the same, or completely different. I would not pronounce them the same.

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Re: Name reaction

Post  Jehanne on Tue Jul 17, 2018 10:58 am

It's kind of strange -- sometimes one person will call me "Dawn" while speaking to me, and a few days later they'll say, "Don".  I can, however, tell the difference; I don't want to "correct" them, as my boss is actively looking for excuses to fire me as it is.  In fact, I have a formal HR action happening right now against me at my office; it's been going on now for over 2 months.  I go into work every day thinking that I am going to get canned.  (Maybe today will be the day?!)

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Re: Name reaction

Post  Lesley Niyori on Tue Jul 17, 2018 11:54 am

That level of poisonous paranoia will actually harm you, dear.

Spend the time to find another job before the process erodes your health in a more serious fashion.

I speak from experience. I once had a no account, worthless excuse of a job, but it was all I had, and it paid the bills. The boss regularly and routinely moaned and complained about the expenses of staff and how they might not be able to remain in business. I let it get to me to the point I had a nervous breakdown. I missed a shift and arrived the next day with a doctor's note to find I had been pink-slipped out of a job. The thing is, ditching that job was actually a good thing. It forced my hand and led to me finding out about an entrepreneurial course that taught me I was perfectly suited to running my own business.

That workplace is likely never going to be good for your health and is likely one without any future.

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Re: Name reaction

Post  Jehanne on Wed Jul 18, 2018 1:01 am

Yeah, I can't give out too much ("they're watching!") information, but some big changes are happening at my office, maybe, a management shuffle.  But, yeah, I appreciate your words so very much!!!

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