my life is ruined

last night with the family, playing scattergories. Got ripped off I put diablo sauce as a spicy food, they voted me to have no points. Then for payback I put something politically incorrect as the next word (cant say it because it is politically incorrect.) And I got double points and won, but my dad called me a doomkauf (which is German for dummy.) This hurt my feelings and sent me on a dark spiral. I am a genius and noone appreciates me. Then later that game my dad accidentally misgendered me and did not apologize. This ruined my life and sent me on a dark spiral, because earlier that day I said noone loves me, but for the next few years I become a workaholic in order to be a millionairre, and once I am a millionaiire someone will love me. I said I will be positive and only focus on my work. But then my dad had to ruin it by putting me in a dark spiral, I said nothing is sacred and nowhere can I remain happy at peace. And then I kept thinking about how it is the universe's fault, for making me be born into a boy body, I said why couldn't I have a good life of love where I was in a girl's body? And that very day I kept thinking about one internet comment, about a man who said "We are here to live life, laugh and to love, and hopefully have a good time of it along the way." And it made me FOMO hardcore because, I am almost 30 and never had one good relationship and always sexually frustrated, I said everyone gets to have a life except me, and it haunts me always and makes me FOMO in despair, and it all feels rigged against me.

It's dummkopf. Kauf is to buy.

Git gud and next time kick ass.