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cis. 1234567

Post  Angelic on Wed Aug 01, 2018 3:21 pm

I don't think I am cis because I always hated my own body. But I feel I am all around transhuman. Always hated my male body but around 8 or 11 had an exclusive fixation with being female. But I cannot relate to other transhumans, because I do not want to be uploaded into a computer.

Age 4 or 6 I hated being a man. Wanted to be an animal, or female or intersex robot. Age 6 or 4 I had unbridled rage at thought of being a man, filled my soul with contempt at the idea of being a man, that I would grow up, to be a man.

Around age 6 I wanted to be a piece of cheese. If this is a fetish so be it. Maybe wanting to be a piece of cheese was a fetish. But it made me happier than nothing else.

Maybe my fate is to be a miserable man of hate rage and unhappiness for all of my days. But I do not think this makes me cis. I think cis men like being men and are happy as men. I am not happy as a man, and I do not want to look like a manly man. I can tolerate looking like a girly man like Captain Jack Sparrow. I can tolerate it but I am not happy, just tolerating it. I am truly happy when I am imagine I am a female woman. Sometimes these fantasies are sexual, other times these fantasies are non-sexual and just euphoria of nature.

I can rest assured I hate both men and woman on tv. I see men on tv I hate and feel contempt, same as women. I hate all men and women I see on tv except for Pierce Brosnan because he is cool.

The other thing is, I have not masturbated for 3 weeks. It is ironic that people shame my sexuality when most of the people who shame my sexuality get laid everyday while I am for all intents and purposes still a virgin. Rest assured I am not ashamed that I have a healthy sexuality. If I had a partner I would wear fetish clothes sometimes, I will not let someone who gets more than me, shame me for a sex life I do not have.

Despite seeming like an asshole at times, I am an empath. I feel like obiwan kenobi and my heart is often filled with pain and trauma. Often times I feel like that scene of Star Wars where obi wan has to cut off Anakins legs. I want nothing more that to love and be a friend, but some people just want to be enemies. For example, next door neighbor, transphobe. Tried to be her friend because she acts like a feminist lesbian. But she told me my androgenous society is a pipe dream, and that noone would accept my idea of wearing womens clothes and makeup. Then she said she was tired of talking to me because she was 40 years older than me. I asked her to stop calling me by my dead name but she never does. She waves hi to me but I don't wave back. Some think I am a monster but it pains me inside, I want so badly to say hi but I know I can't, and I go inside and ruminate it for hours, hoping she is okay and not hurt by it, and I feel like obiwan, like I had no choice, I had to do it, no other way around it, and i get angry she had to ruin my day by making me feel guilty about it.
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Re: cis. 1234567

Post  mariehart1 on Wed Aug 01, 2018 3:30 pm

I met Pierce Brosnan in real life and yes he is cool.

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Re: cis. 1234567

Post  Angelic on Wed Aug 01, 2018 3:31 pm

mariehart1 wrote:I met Pierce Brosnan in real life and yes he is cool.

How did the conversation go?
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Re: cis. 1234567

Post  MichaelaSJ on Wed Aug 01, 2018 5:56 pm

Angelic wrote:...Despite seeming like an asshole at times, I am an empath...
No, Angel, you are not an empath. Far from it.

While I would not go as far as to say you are apathetic, empathetic you are not.

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If you don't want a man unhappy politically, don't give him two sides to a question to worry him; give him one. Better yet, give him none. Let him forget there is such a thing as war. If the Government is inefficient, top-heavy, and tax-mad, better it is all those than that people worry over it. Peace, Montag.
Fahrenheit 451

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Re: cis. 1234567

Post  mariehart1 on Fri Aug 03, 2018 12:29 am

Angelic wrote:
mariehart1 wrote:I met Pierce Brosnan in real life and yes he is cool.

How did the conversation go?
I didn't talk to him, nor did I talk to Julieanne Moore or a whole bunch of celebrities I met. I was in awe of them. But I listened to them and they were cool. Ok I did talk to celebrities you never heard of but who I like and yes they were cool too. In fact I never met a movie star I didn't like. They were always lovely, even Andy Serkis, who bruised my ribs by accident.


Angelic, are you bi polar? I say that because I have bi polar friends. Manic Depressive was the old not PC version. I say that because it seems familiar. Sorry if that's an insult. But I have two bi polar friends. We're upfront about it.

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Re: cis. 1234567

Post  Angelic on Fri Aug 03, 2018 12:10 pm

MichaelaSJ wrote:
Angelic wrote:...Despite seeming like an asshole at times, I am an empath...
No, Angel, you are not an empath. Far from it.

While I would not go as far as to say you are apathetic, empathetic you are not.

I am the biggest empath on this planet. I am one of the few people who sees this shitshow for what it is. I have been a vegetarian for 10 years because I care about animals. And I am willing to bet 5 dollars that you are a person who eats steaks. I am literally the female jesus of this planet trying to save the world and make it the year 3000 on this planet. I have compassion for the wicked. Noone else has compassion for the wicked but me. All it is is fake news demonizing people who had rough times or cognitive impairments.
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Re: cis. 1234567

Post  Angelic on Fri Aug 03, 2018 12:14 pm

mariehart1 wrote:
Angelic wrote:
mariehart1 wrote:I met Pierce Brosnan in real life and yes he is cool.

How did the conversation go?
I didn't talk to him, nor did I talk to Julieanne Moore or a whole bunch of celebrities I met. I was in awe of them. But I listened to them and they were cool. Ok I did talk to celebrities you never heard of but who I like and yes they were cool too. In fact I never met a movie star I didn't like.  They were always lovely, even Andy Serkis, who bruised my ribs by accident.


Angelic, are you bi polar? I say that because I have bi polar friends. Manic Depressive was the old not PC version. I say that because it seems familiar. Sorry if that's an insult. But I have two bi polar friends. We're upfront about it.

My dad is bipolar but I never been diagnosed as bipolar. I have depression which some say is the same as bipolar. I am most likely, bi-something-else though.
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