sun gender, outside gender vs. inside gender
sun gender, outside gender vs. inside gender
Angelic Sun Aug 05, 2018 9:07 pm
When I am outside in the sun, it is 120 degrees. During these times I do not have a burning need to be a woman. My burning need is quite literal, I am burning, I am furiously wiping the sweat off my face from every two seconds trying not to faint from dehydration.
Am I happy as a man? No. If I died and went to heaven, and God told me I could be a man or woman in heaven, I would pick to be a woman. But honestly, when it is 120 degrees outside and every two seconds I am wiping the sweat after it is stinging my eyes, while lumbering along wading through the heat-stroke, during these outdoors times, getting a sex-change and boob job simply is rarely on my mind.
Now lets talk about identity. Identity, what it is and what it isn't. I have been around the block longer than many transwomen. So I've been studying transsexualism a lot longer. My knowledge of gender is deeper than most. I actually started transition 5 or 6 years ago, but gave it up because it turns out the inhouse-pharmacy hormones I had been buying cause cancer.
That being said, I am the resident expert of gender. Not just here, but anywhere in America. I am the Neitzche, the Jung of gender. So what is identity? Let's talk about identity.
Identity? My identity is a shy being of love. I don't do well in crowds. So what is identity, as it pertains to others?
As it pertains to others, identity is this. Identity is when you look at a person, and you want to live out their life. You identify as them. If you don't want to live out their life, you do not identify as them. It's that simple. The question is this: A. Do you want to reincarnate as them? If the answer is no, you do not identify as them.
So when I am outside, I am filled with fear and anxiety. The hot sun. People. Crowds. Hot girls that are always never single or interested. Its mostly stress for me, so I feel like a soldier. If you are in a hostile zone, say in Iraq. Is gender, getting a sex-change, getting a boob-job, the main thing on your mind, or just trying to get to safety? Shelter from the hot sun and enemy munitions?
So here's the thing. When I am in large crowds, I look at the men. I do not identify as them. When I think about possessing their bodies I feel sick to my stomach. The idea of my soul leaving my body and being in their body, makes me feel sick and dysphoric. I do not identify as any of the men I see in public. So lets talk about the women. I do not identify as them either. Do you know why? Because it makes me feel like a bimbo slut. An obedient bimbo to a mediocre man. Obedient girlfriend or wife, obedient to a man who is inferior to me. A lesser man than me. And even though they are pretty, I do not admire their minds. Minds which are submissive to inferior men.
So when I am in a crowd, what do I see? Hostiles. People out to get me. People out to judge. So yes there is a big part of me that is afraid to transition. I am afraid of the weird and hateful looks. I am afraid of sticking out like a sore thumb. I can barely get by in a crowd as a man, without having an anxiety attack. Imagine the anxiety I will feel being a non-passing third-gender, during this Trump-era of transphobic TERF hysteria. Some transwomen have higher self-awareness. The self-awareness of being afraid of being trans in a crowd. And the empathic ability to detect negative vibes from others. Being an empath, all that hate towards me really sickens my soul.
But you know what? All day I was in the crowd. And do you know what? Noone, no gender, did I identify as. Until, I saw a 12 year old chubby girl, who looked Greek of origin, and had black and green hair, and I said, yes that could be me, in another life, and I would be happy to reincarnate as her, and live the good life, and I started to feel the despair wave over me, like I could have be born as her, and lived the good life, yet I got stuck as me.
Well I look at the pros and cons. Even though I am me, at least I am superior. I usually win at everything. And even though I am superior I still can't get a date. Girls would rather date pathetic weaklings over me. I will tell you the worst thing I have ever seen. One time a girl would date a crossdresser who wasn't even trans. But not date me. And do you know what, the crossdresser was physically weak and pathetic, so it was a double whammy, the crossdresser was more feminine than me, and yet, more attractive to this girl than me. So it is a double whammy, not only am I cursed to be physically masculine, but also, the fact I am physically masculine makes people not give me a fair chance in the dating department. And I am so superior to all these weaklings, smarter, stronger, and just overall better at everything, and yet, they all get the good life of love and romance, and I get lies, abuse, rejection, and abandoment. It's reverse darwinism, reverse natural selection.
Am I happy as a man? No. If I died and went to heaven, and God told me I could be a man or woman in heaven, I would pick to be a woman. But honestly, when it is 120 degrees outside and every two seconds I am wiping the sweat after it is stinging my eyes, while lumbering along wading through the heat-stroke, during these outdoors times, getting a sex-change and boob job simply is rarely on my mind.
Now lets talk about identity. Identity, what it is and what it isn't. I have been around the block longer than many transwomen. So I've been studying transsexualism a lot longer. My knowledge of gender is deeper than most. I actually started transition 5 or 6 years ago, but gave it up because it turns out the inhouse-pharmacy hormones I had been buying cause cancer.
That being said, I am the resident expert of gender. Not just here, but anywhere in America. I am the Neitzche, the Jung of gender. So what is identity? Let's talk about identity.
Identity? My identity is a shy being of love. I don't do well in crowds. So what is identity, as it pertains to others?
As it pertains to others, identity is this. Identity is when you look at a person, and you want to live out their life. You identify as them. If you don't want to live out their life, you do not identify as them. It's that simple. The question is this: A. Do you want to reincarnate as them? If the answer is no, you do not identify as them.
So when I am outside, I am filled with fear and anxiety. The hot sun. People. Crowds. Hot girls that are always never single or interested. Its mostly stress for me, so I feel like a soldier. If you are in a hostile zone, say in Iraq. Is gender, getting a sex-change, getting a boob-job, the main thing on your mind, or just trying to get to safety? Shelter from the hot sun and enemy munitions?
So here's the thing. When I am in large crowds, I look at the men. I do not identify as them. When I think about possessing their bodies I feel sick to my stomach. The idea of my soul leaving my body and being in their body, makes me feel sick and dysphoric. I do not identify as any of the men I see in public. So lets talk about the women. I do not identify as them either. Do you know why? Because it makes me feel like a bimbo slut. An obedient bimbo to a mediocre man. Obedient girlfriend or wife, obedient to a man who is inferior to me. A lesser man than me. And even though they are pretty, I do not admire their minds. Minds which are submissive to inferior men.
So when I am in a crowd, what do I see? Hostiles. People out to get me. People out to judge. So yes there is a big part of me that is afraid to transition. I am afraid of the weird and hateful looks. I am afraid of sticking out like a sore thumb. I can barely get by in a crowd as a man, without having an anxiety attack. Imagine the anxiety I will feel being a non-passing third-gender, during this Trump-era of transphobic TERF hysteria. Some transwomen have higher self-awareness. The self-awareness of being afraid of being trans in a crowd. And the empathic ability to detect negative vibes from others. Being an empath, all that hate towards me really sickens my soul.
But you know what? All day I was in the crowd. And do you know what? Noone, no gender, did I identify as. Until, I saw a 12 year old chubby girl, who looked Greek of origin, and had black and green hair, and I said, yes that could be me, in another life, and I would be happy to reincarnate as her, and live the good life, and I started to feel the despair wave over me, like I could have be born as her, and lived the good life, yet I got stuck as me.
Well I look at the pros and cons. Even though I am me, at least I am superior. I usually win at everything. And even though I am superior I still can't get a date. Girls would rather date pathetic weaklings over me. I will tell you the worst thing I have ever seen. One time a girl would date a crossdresser who wasn't even trans. But not date me. And do you know what, the crossdresser was physically weak and pathetic, so it was a double whammy, the crossdresser was more feminine than me, and yet, more attractive to this girl than me. So it is a double whammy, not only am I cursed to be physically masculine, but also, the fact I am physically masculine makes people not give me a fair chance in the dating department. And I am so superior to all these weaklings, smarter, stronger, and just overall better at everything, and yet, they all get the good life of love and romance, and I get lies, abuse, rejection, and abandoment. It's reverse darwinism, reverse natural selection.
Angelic- Posts : 473
Join date : 2018-06-19
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