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The patriarchy isn't really the source of the problem

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The patriarchy isn't really the source of the problem Empty The patriarchy isn't really the source of the problem

Post  Lesley Niyori Fri Oct 19, 2018 1:33 pm

I posted this originally as a reply to a 'fight the patriarchy' comment on Facebook.

But I think it merits being circulated on its own as well.
So here it is for you guys to ponder as well.

The patriarchy isn't the problem, our problem is their fucking misogynistic bullshit religion's dogma born of an inability to read by their support base. Not all of the support originates with men. So your problem originates from no small number of women who willing adhere to the bullshit. Craziest examples might be, Muslim women who will actually fight you for their RIGHT to be forced to wear a burka, an item that basically screams out there is something inherently wrong with seeing their body at all. Christian women who essentially are ok with it being all Eve's fault. Jewish women who because they don't accept Jesus as saviour are stuck with the old testament (there is NOTHING good about the old testament). The Bible is the root of most of my problems with the patriarchy. I'm plenty sure there are plenty of other religions where women are seen as less than men. If you want to smash the patriarchy, you're going to need to do more than deal with some disagreeable men.

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Post  Guest Fri Oct 19, 2018 5:37 pm

Women are often their own worst enemies. My wife has realised this lately. She works in profession which these days is largely dominated by Women. She herself is a reluctant Manager being promoted almost despite herself, many of the Managers are men despite the predominance of women.

This is simply because the women simply don't want the responsibility. She has a persistent problem getting her female staff to take on more respsonsibility. They dodge promotions. Meanwhile the few men are more than willing to take on the work. A lot of it, to be fair, is to do with having children. The women don't want to take on more work if it means less time with their kids, plus the fact that most of them aren't lucky enough to have a partner like me will to give up work and take care of the house and children.


But even the single women cause issues. She asked one take on a certain role only to be accused that she only chosen because she was single with no kids!!!!


Meanwhile, an older man working there, a retiree from another place brought in for his experience turned out to be a bit of a bollox, patronising to women, sexist, sometimes bullying and inclined to ignore the rules has caused a lot of issues and the women feel intimidated by him. Yet the won't stand up for themselves. He's real pain. In the end he went too far and got into trouble. But my wife is severely frustrated by all the women diving for cover. Luckily she has back up from her boss and HR both women. Career women for a change.


It's been eye opening for her.


There is a lot of talk of gender equality yet again and again it's women who sabotage themselve. Even when the trap door in the glass ceiling is wide open they won't climb that ladder.

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Post  MichaelaSJ Fri Oct 19, 2018 7:13 pm

One the major issues in my marriage is my Wife's reluctance to become more important in her job.

She does not have the education I have but she is more than competent doing what she does - managing a property management company. But every time I ask what is going on at work, are the getting new project, she says that is not part of her job and she has no idea of what is going on.

She has worked for the same real estate developer for the last 40+ years and could easily have made twice, maybe three times what she makes now. But, she likes the safety of the doormat.

Sigh!

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"Disobedience in the eyes of any one who has read history is man's original virtue. "—Oscar Wilde.
If you don't want a man unhappy politically, don't give him two sides to a question to worry him; give him one. Better yet, give him none. Let him forget there is such a thing as war. If the Government is inefficient, top-heavy, and tax-mad, better it is all those than that people worry over it. Peace, Montag.
Fahrenheit 451
“lifelong atheist, not afraid of burning in hell,” Ron Reagan FFRF
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Post  Guest Fri Oct 19, 2018 8:59 pm

Education doesn't matter. My wife has a Masters degree. She could have a Phd but she didn't want to make the effort. Three of her six sisters, yes three have Phds. All are successful careerwise even one who has mental health issues. They are all successful despite themselves. Extremely capable women who constantly doubt themselves. Yet no one else does. Not their partners.

She asks advice from me who finished school never went to college and amounted to nothing in my career. On the other hand I have four formidable sisters none of whom went to college who rose up through the ranks in their respective jobs because they didn't believe in limitations. One is a millionaire because she ran her husband's architect's practice while he concentrated on the creative side.


So maybe personality has a part to play. But it is fair to say that women underestimate themselves. I know this because my female side underestimates me but yet my male status allows me to appear as if I know what I'm doing. I say my career didn't amount to much but there are several young men who I mentored and went on to successful careers. But they saw me as a man. I went to a barbeque this summer meeting a guy who I worked with. He went straight for me and thanked me for what I did for him. My wife was duly impressed. She had no idea. I was embarrassed. If I had a male ego I would have enjoyed it. But if had a male ego I would never have helped him.


Bit of a contradiction.

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Post  MichaelaSJ Fri Oct 19, 2018 9:42 pm

By most measures, I had a successful career. Ran my own real estate development business, was a vice-president of a major land developer, but I was always held back with the thought someone would find out I wanted to be a woman.

What a fucked up world we live in. I hope the future will be different for my sister/brothers in gender.

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"Disobedience in the eyes of any one who has read history is man's original virtue. "—Oscar Wilde.
If you don't want a man unhappy politically, don't give him two sides to a question to worry him; give him one. Better yet, give him none. Let him forget there is such a thing as war. If the Government is inefficient, top-heavy, and tax-mad, better it is all those than that people worry over it. Peace, Montag.
Fahrenheit 451
“lifelong atheist, not afraid of burning in hell,” Ron Reagan FFRF
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