On being your best

Sometimes how you look, has nothing to do with the surface details of your appearance.

I'm actually quite bald. I wear a wig.

I could just bitch about being bald, and do nothing, or, I could simply do something about it.

So I do something about it.

But, a wig is just a tool. Just putting on a wig isn't enough. It looks better when worn with a smile.

So I try to smile as much as possible.

Smiling isn't always easy of course. It helps if your attitude isn't lousy.

So I try and maintain a decent positive attitude.

But attitude is not the only thing you can do. You can aid in the full effect by covering all the bases. Like friends. Friends are sometimes quite handy to have around.

Friends though tend to require a reason to be your friend. So have something that makes a person want to be your friend. Because I can assure you, people have their own needs. If you have nothing to offer but the negative, they ain't going to be in a hurry to be around you.

Being that thing they need is perhaps the best way to make a friend. Give them a smile, they likely will return it, and then you are both smiling.

This picture is all about how to do it right.
I wore the wig, I made the effort to be playful, I let my friend fiddle with my makeup, it wasn't her best effort, but, we had some laughs, I playfully lower my glasses for that disapproving librarian look, she joins me in the picture, and presto, I look pretty danged good.

And I wasn't wearing anything special. I'm basically wearing a bathrobe at the time, no accessories, and yet, I look better than the average cisfemale. Most of the image is from the inside out, not just the surface.

If you are going to complain that life is unfair, that your appearance is impossible, that everyone has it better than you, well I am for one, going to just agree with you, and then disregard you as not worth the time or the effort. You may stew in your misery and I will not spend any more time on you.

Or, you could clean up your act, take your best shot, let us offer some insights, and likely end up looking a great deal better than you think you can be.

I wasn't always this good looking. It took effort to find this girl inside of me. I'd still look like a balding, warehouse manager that seemed to be in his late 50s, miserable, unhappy, and not really all that interesting to be around. If I hadn't done something about it.

You COULD be sexy, if you tried.

Thanks for that. I often worry about how I look but I'm luckier than you in several ways in terms of my body. All my own hair, not much body hair, not very masculine with small hands and feet. I never appreciated that when I was younger and I don't appreciate it now until I look back  at some pictures I've taken. I still have a picture, a slightly racy one in a bra which I took using an early digital camera. I look like a youngish woman but I was over forty at the time and never appreciated that.


But lately I've been nicer to myself and frankly I rather enjoy looking like a slightly frumpy older woman. That said that I very recently took a photo of myself in the garden wearing some lingerie. I don't look like a man in women's clothes. I look like an older woman feeling sexy.


I agree with you on friends as well. My Father gave me a tip years ago. He said, just listen to people be interested in them. They'll think you're good company and you'll be friends. I would add that doesn't include people who are relentlessly negative about themselves and others. Just edge away.

Hi Lesley,

Looking at your picture, I would have never guessed. Your hair looks completely natural!

Dawn

If people wont' accept me at my worst, then they don't deserve me at my best.