A VERY bad day for me

Content Warning.
When I posted this on my Facebook, I was particularly furious.

I'm a bit more chill, but, I need to post this here as well. It is transgender basically.
But it is not remotely friendly to the religious.
So this content warning is meant for the religious that might see this.
If you are religious, this probably will hurt.

last warning.

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you were warned.

I'm here now, but I am not staying here much today. (referencing Facebook)

I'm sad tired hurt angry upset, a lot of rough emotions.

What I am not is happy, smiling, cheerful and in a good mood.

D'arcy and I are ok. (there was a micro break up)

We could be so much better.

It's almost entirely the fault of society.
It's mainly the fault of religion.
And stupid fucking people, basically controlled by stupid fucking religious beliefs.

YES, I SAID STUPID FUCKING RELIGIOUS BELIEFS!

D'arcy is battling doubt, confusion, pain.
It's not her fault.
She could just be whoever and whatever she wanted to be.

IF NOT FOR STUPID FUCKING RELIGIOUS BELIEFS!

Written in a stupid fucking book, read by stupid fucking people, selectively. Because they don't actually follow ALL of the book.

Homophobia, and transphobia and guilt obsession that makes sex and sexuality something considered sin and 'wrong'.

And yet, they can casually ignore all the parts they don't wish to see. Or pretend all they have to do is say 'sorry' on Sunday, and they get a free pass.

I have only one thing to say to religious beliefs. FUCK YOU!

I'm in a great deal of emotional pain, that is manifesting as physical pain. I almost lost my fiance because of how religious beliefs are tormenting her.

Religion of peace and love? Fuck you.
Fuck the nasty religious people, and fuck the peaceful yet never actually does anything to object to the nasty ones religious people.

My fiance is unsure if she is male or female because being female means hurtful interactions from fucking stupid fucking religious people. She likes dressing in nice feminine clothing, but, not if it means being treated crummy by fucking religious people. And when I say 'fucking religious people' I also mean all the dumb fucking badly educated bigotted assholes who likely don't go to church, but, still buy into the bullshit dogma that religion has been spewing for thousands of years.

There is no fucking God.
There are no fucking non-Bible gods.
Spirituality is without ANY evidence at all.
There is no reason to believe there is a soul. None.

I don't fucking care if this bothers you.
All of the world's unproven beliefs are why my fiance is in pain.
Her pain is putting me through hell too.
Religious people ARE hurting me.
Every fucking day.
No, don't go stating "well I'm a nice person."
Nice people don't promote a belief system that is predominantly a source of hate.

It's time we got rid of religion. Entirely.
But I'm not planning to hold my breath.

I'm fucking mad as hell.
And I am not one fucking iota interested in hearing one fucking positive thing about the fucking PC party.
Or anyone that will vote for them.

If you want to impress me, doing something real impressive.
Actually follow the teachings of Jesus.
Just wearing his name, and hating on me, won't make you my friend.

I'm now going to go and try with all my power and might to beat down this negative, rotten attitude and lousy mood.
I sure as science don't want your fucking stupid prayers.
Your kind thoughts might be nice.
I didn't come here to post this, it just happened.

Yesterday was a rotten day.
D'arcy hurt her foot.
We went to emergency at the Ross in the morning.
D'arcy and I had a bit of an argument.
Which resulted in a very long day.
Eventually, we went back to the Ross and sat for hours and hours getting her foot looked after.
Fortunately, a cast was not needed.
But it's going to suck a lot of thrill out of the next while.
So I will no doubt be having trouble with that.
Mostly due to stupid fucking religious people.
Because it will cramp D'arcy's ability to be herself.
It's going to impede getting out on our bikes so we can escape being around so many stupid fucking religious people.

Notice a trend here?

So yeah, while mourning the loss of an old building, keep in mind. A lot of stupid fucking religious people are likely going to find a LOT of money to rebuild the building. Money they simply can't seem to find for anyone that isn't stupid right-wing, land-owning, Caucasian Christian. If you are even a friend of any portion of the LGBT acronym, chances are a stupid fucking religious person blames you that it happened.

After all, I'm responsible for hurricanes, and floods and fires and everything else out there.

Lesley Niyori wrote:After all, I'm responsible for hurricanes, and floods and fires and everything else out there.

You shouldn't have to bear all of that alone - I will help, if you need it.

Well, I hope things are brighter today Lesley. You know I was raised Anglican, but I don't believe in it wholesale and certainly believe there are many Christians that are just darn right bigoted if not dangerous people, messing with people's lives. I would never let them get to me, actually I would revel in the thought of being responsible, for the benefit of their stupid minds only, being the trigger of monumentous events. Of course, to all sane people I of course, state, that I wish no such things to occur.


About five years ago I upset an ex-neighbour that had never spoke to me much, an ardent churchgoer that I kinda knew 'disapproved' of me. He was walking to his car one Sunday morning as I was putting out the rubbish. He mentioned about how there could be thunderstorms later that day. I am always open to anyone suddenly being friendly, so I joked and made light by saying, "Yes, Thor will be quite busy today," before realising what I had said and who to, their was no recovery from my stupid statement, that now is a staple anecdote of mine. For he took it seriously, his face was a picture, looking at me like I was something the cat dragged in, he never spoke to me again....

Oh life's too short. Bring it on, I'll join Miki. I, too, declare shared the responsibility for all the world's woes!!!!! Woe, woe and thrice times..... woe!!!!!!

Celia xx

I am way more curious about what actually happened than what God may or may not have to do with it. I was unable to glean that information from your post.

I am sorry you are having to absorb some of your partner's torment. It stinks all the ways big and small people hurt us all.

I wish it was as simple as a bad religion.. but it's a gang of people seeking power by spreading fear of the unknown and rare. When I was a teenager a friend of mine who was into horror movies and the make up effects dragged me to see Clive Barker's Night breed. I hated movie... Not for the blood but because I was all too familiar with the bigotry and though I appreciated what it was trying to say... I knew the people who it was supposed to shame into seeing their own hate would rationalize their behavior as justified or not see the moral play like my friend who blathered on about the effects.

It's okay to be emotional... To express and not hold in, and to find your way back together again if you can. She is valid... No pastor preaching hate can erase who you are. But neither does a dress make you a woman. There are so many stories of women escaping danger or pretending to be a man to do great deeds they were denied. If she needs to curl up and hide for a bit while she heals .. so be it... I mean I can judge anyone for being afraid. I couldn't be myself most of my life out of fear. At a friend's urging I sketched something more than a doodle, something I haven't done in 30 years. My first self portrait, what I didn't share with them was all the negative thoughts I drew into it. That demon is never far. Love and time can heal many things. See her not the ugliness in the world. And let that light remind you of the strength and beauty all around and if she ready help her see she is a part of those beautiful things.

Kaibeth wrote:I am way more curious about what actually happened than what God may or may not have to do with it. I was unable to glean that information from your post.

It's a reflection of what we have all felt, feel and have witnessed.

Family rejection, friends preferring the old person, the sneers of strangers, the news of yet another hate crime, news articles about transphobic laws enacted against us.

Inability to pass, a need to spend an inordinate amount of effort to do what a cisfemale can say "fuck it, not today" casually. Lack of real choice in apparel. Wearing a dress being written off as a guy in a dress. Drag Queens and their parodies of womanhood not doing us any real favours.

The chaos of hormone therapy. The need to fret over surgery, because some think gender is a body part. Being made to jump through hoops, just to be allowed to be real.

And in the last few months, several family deaths.
Sam needing a new mom because her blood family discarded her, and her about to adopt her mom passing away suddenly.
D'arcy's dad passing and there was bitterness between them.
My mom passing.
My brother's mother in law passing within days of our mom.
D'arcy's foot injury, from heels falling into a crack, because she was trying too hard to look female that evening.
And it all boiled over at the hospital.
I took her up by ambulance, but we had an argument about her cell phone, and she said fine it's over and gave me my ring back.
So I spent several hours of pure hell grieving what I thought was the end of my engagement.
I never knew she had walked home without getting treatment.
I hear from my dad she's back home because she's on the internet.
I finally get told she's coming back to the hospital.
We makeup and she accepts my ring back.
And then we proceed to take till midnight to have her foot seen to.

NONE of this would have happened, really, in the absence of religious driven hate and bias and bigotry. No to mention, I'm an atheist, and God, the source of all this meanness, doesn't even exist.

Too much grief, and too much hate, too much weight on our minds.

Notre Dame burned and beyond it being a sad loss of an epic piece of architecture, well, frankly, I couldn't give a flying fuck what it means to a Catholic.

They have billions of dollars. They don't need my fucking money.