Horrible truths

Some people are nasty (there's no shortage of subvariants of nasty).

Some people are well-meaning but unfortunately clumsy at it, and end up being a pain.

Some people are aggressively activist-oriented, and often no real help to the 'cause'.

PC is as much a curse as it is a desire to not offend.

I'm just human. I'm not apologizing for being human.

I'm not a racist, but I do notice differences. I'm not black, I'm entirely Caucasian. I have black friends, but I live in white rural Canada. Black people stand out here. When I go to Toronto, I'm overwhelmed by all the colours. So many colours. I'm not a minority, but it almost feels like it in Toronto. On the bus or subway or on the street, I often wonder, "where are all the majority white people?"

They're not really in the cities, they live in the suburbs, and rural Canada.

I don't mind that I 'notice' colours. I'm not blind. It's what I do that counts.
I don't treat people differently. I just notice they are different looking.

But I'm judgemental. Yeah, I know they are looking at me and judging. So what, I'm looking at them and judging them. It's a human thing. It's what I do that matters. "Ewww has she looked in a mirror, that outfit looks dreadful." But, I keep that to myself inside my head. I don't give a flying fuck if I pass really. I look like a woman my age, I act like a woman my age, and I AM a woman, my age. But if they are looking at me and thinking something negative, well, as long as they keep it to themselves, I couldn't care less.

We judge people on their place of origin, on the manner of dress (a lot of it is religious in nature).
We judge people on their apparent economic status (I dress like I'm a lot wealthier than I actually am).
We judge based on age (damn Millenials/boomers).
We judge based on ability (they don't 'look' disabled).

And yeah, if two girls kiss, they are being judged no doubt.
If they seem like a guy, but dress like a girl, they are being judged.

I see everything, but, it's my actions that matter.
I've taken it so far, that I actually shut down unless I'm actively seeking to notice.
So my friends are envious of my cluelessness.
I don't see transgender hate, I don't see drug dealers, I don't notice prostitutes.
I'm too busy dancing to my music and staring at the scenery.
I see everything, and yet, I'm zoned out and see nothing.

But if I'm actually looking at a person, yeah, I'm observing everything. Age, race, ability, the whole deal. But I tend to be friendly with anyone I meet. I'm something of a celebrity in town. I think the whole fucking town knows me. EEEEEEveryone says hello to me like a friend. But I rarely know their name. But while sitting in a coffee shop, I will be silently picking apart the outfits of every person that comes in the store. Ripped jeans, totally fucking stupid, slave to fashion. Low slung pants, what, are you seriously thinking that looks cool? Do you own anything other than black? Soap, it's a thing. Aren't you cold in that? That does not match your shape. It's 80 outside, what's with the coats?

I like people to use my pronouns, I admit. But I'm not going to give a shit if a stranger gets it wrong, accidentally or on purpose. It only bothers me with family. They DO know better.
Ladies room, oh you better not try giving me grief, I will defend myself, with force if needed. deadly force if required. I decide what is required, not some biased law.

I've had bad treatment at the hands of transgender females. I don't really need outsiders to get pissed off.
It's actually rare for me to experience transphobic hate from the cisgender out there.
And to be honest, I've seen no shortage of hate from parts of the damned acronym.
LGBTtoomanyotherletters. Stop the fucking ride please, I want my T back.

Labels, ya know, it is possible there is no such thing as cisgender. And if that is true, then transgender is an equally pointless label. Gender is a spectrum. You're on it somewhere, and only you know where. And what your body looks like means sweet fucking diddly to your gender.
Because gender isn't a body part. Sperm plus egg makes baby. That's it. Your options might vary.

I don't really give a shit what your religious beliefs are. I'm an atheist. None of them have ever been proven. None of them. And a great deal of complicated physics, is really, just guys going "what if". Because the same rules apply. If you can't prove something, it's just an idea.

Reality is likely a lot more disappointing than any of us what to accept.
Eat sleep shit breath a lot, eventually die. Hope you enjoyed your time.

The biggest problem facing humanity is stupidity.
We are clever enough to make tools, not clever enough to control our numbers.
We like to think there are never any real consequences for our actions.
Oh there is.

Part of me just wants to say "fuck it, you will get what you deserve."
But everything ends.
Good or bad, this planet is finite. It will end eventually.
I don't wish to be part of the next mass extinction.

Hi Lesley,

I think the most awful trait with people today is selfishness, but I do agree with a lot of which you write, apart from the fact I never judge any book from its cover, I actually am colour blind. Colour does not matter, I too live in a white town, a white neighbourhood, there are no black or asian people in my road, or for that matter any I know of in this little enclave of about five or six roads between the reservoirs here. I do see them in town, but I treat them the same as any one else.

I admire your attitude, I wish I had more of that, I am too much of a pushover. I don't see hatred either, just occasional ridicule from some neighbours that know, but most are ok, some seem to smile too much in a strange way and that, but it's hard to read and I don't worry about it at all.

Hopefully you are wrong about the extinction bit, I'm an optimist and hope humankind can win in the end. It will be a hard turnaround. The world is capable of feeding itself forty times over, did you know that? But plastic and fossil fuel use must end. The population must somehow stabilise. I am hopeful it can be done in time...

Celia xx