clarity{life vs power fantasies}

I just had several moments of revelations about my own life.I have never truly understood why I like games with archiple systems till now, things like magic the gathering or pokemon. They are like a game of rock paper scissors but with no clear matchup winners. I love these kind of games for there ability to rep[lay the same game but because your choices have to play differently each time. Because of these games I have more than one power fantasy. Four in fact. Ideally I would be able to switch between three but in a way that incorporates all four. I was thinking about why I cannot define one particular thing till that moment I realized what it was. It should go with no surprise by now that I am transdgender. My dad left me with no real choice of doing anything about that for decades. On top of that I have felt for the longest time I have no real choice in the ways I go about life or what I can do with it in the moment. So witty these two things lay out before me I realized that my need for being able to have a choice imn real life lead o my love of games with choices of who I wanted to be and how I wanted to go about the game. That really blow my mind.