Okay.... So this is what I'm dealing with.

I know this isn't trans related. But, given the afternoon I've had. I need to blow of steam.

On the TGforum, i occasionally alluded to my mother. And how difficult it is for me to transistion, because of the kind of mind fucking she's given me.

This afternoon my mother invited me to a meal in a pub. All very good. But when she got there, she was distracted. Constantly looking over to the pub across the road. A pub I knew she went in with ",friends". Or should I say ex-friends.

It turns out that, just before christmas, they told her they didn't want her coming out with them anymore. ,(presumably they know what's she's like.,)

So, under the pretext of going out for a meal with me, she stalked the pub across the street. Then waited for her ex-friends to enter the pub. She then got me to go with her on a pub crawl, as if to say ",fuck you, I'm still here."

there's also a bloke she was seeing, and she wanted to give him a fuck you gesture to him to. At one pub is was essentially forced to go in, I went to the bathroom. I got back to find her whispering insults into his ear.

When he came into another pub we were in, she kept making rude gestures to him as complete strangers were looking on. I was mortified.

She thinks because she's the one doing it, it's all reasonable..... It was like one big act of pure insanity.....

Oh Lucy, I'm sorry that she is like that. That must have been one horrible day for you, I think next time you should decline the invitation. Celia xx

It's not a easy as that....

I could write a book on my mothers insanity. She currently got the hump, because she was written out of my grannies will just before her death. Only because she wrote her a letter that included the phrase "anyone can get cancer" (I kid you not.)

Her attitude towards my being trans was originally for me to "take it to my grave." She concerned that my transition will stop men from wanting to be in a relationship with her (oppose to her personality).

She's kind of why I use her maiden name in my username.... and why I'll probably be keeping it when she and everyone else (but mainly her) fall out with me because of my transition.

I'm sad to hear of your troubles Lucy.

Can anyone say 'PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE'.

I am so sorry to hear all this Lucy.

MichaelaSJ wrote:Can anyone say 'PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE'.

Not passive.... Barely contained.....

Hi Lucy!

Have you considered putting your name on to the housing list? Single person occupation affordable housing is so much easier to find than those designed for people with children, you'd have a wait of a couple of years perhaps. I guess that I don't know your entire situation and it's not an instant fix, but it may help you further down the line. Sounds like you'd be better off away from her, I do hope that I'm not coming over as being patronising. Celia xx

I already rent my own property. But i still have to deal with my mother. When I get further down the road with transition, I suspect, she stop wanting to see me...

Hmm, I feel like I'm missing something in the translation as they say.

"She's kind of why I use her maiden name in my username.... and why I'll probably be keeping it when she and everyone else (but mainly her) fall out with me because of my transition."

Unsure of why you feel an attachment to her surname. Your comments seem to indicate that would be the last thing you'd want to drag around through life.

It sounds like no one has any interest in her. And it sounds like it's not because of you. I'm wondering why YOU have any interest in her.

There's a lot of talk out there about how great it is to be a mom, and how great moms are, but, that's not really always the case.

If my mother was NOT supportive of me, she'd not be a part of my life and it wouldn't be relevant if she were dead or alive or how she was doing.

If as you say you expect her to ditch you if you actively transition, then that's the same as saying she's already gone. Because love and support are either real, or it's not.
And it doesn't sound like it is real from here.

Why exactly I guess, do you "have to deal with your mother"?

If anything it my mother who never really cared for her maiden name. I prefer it.... it reminds me of my grand parents, who would have been far more supportive.

I use it as a bluff, not stop people from knowing it's me.

I have to deal with her because she breed me to be anxious, and easily malable. To go alone with what others want. Put my feelings and needs aside for others. I have a unusual talent for taking shit. Something most people have taken advantage of at one time or another. My ability for putting up with the intolerable is remarkable.

It also why I haven't transition yet, and why transition will be so hard for me...... because I will always put other people's ideals over my own.