People of my past

I do it, I'm guessing we all do it.

Agonize over lost contacts with persons we thought of as friends.

My past self wasn't part of the in-crowd. Wasn't popular. Was socially awkward.

I think I was a loser sort of

All of the people I lament over having dumped me quit me for the usual reasons we transgender persons cope with.

Why WHY!! do I miss them?

Arrrrgghhh!! they were all losers like me.
None of them were 'popular'. They were role gaming anime fans who wargamed and in general didn't play sports or get invited to the cool parties.

But most importantly, I sure the fuck wouldn't date any of them.

I try, oh I do try, to sweep them out of my life.

I do NOT want them back either. They can stay gone.

I went from looking 70 for crying out loud. Disabled, I walked with a cane.
Now, I pass for late 30s!!

Shit, I look cute. I could pass for the daughter of one of the old contacts.

The people in my life now, are soooo much more superior as people.
I AM popular today. I get greetings all the time.
The last thing I feel like is a socially awkward loser.

The fact is, I'm no longer likely to WANT to socialize with the people of my past.

But it's hard letting go.

Part of me needs to make THEM feel awkard, uncomfortable.
Oh man, if only I could walk past them in a bikini and make THEM uncomfortable
Hehe, "Yeah, say anything you feel like losers, but I'm used to being around real men these days."