Glastonbury
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Glastonbury
Just watching Glastonbury on the beeb. Pet shop boys on now. Makes me wish I was gay instead of trans. I loved the Pet Shop Boys and Frankie goes to Hollywood and Bronski beat. Mark Almond, Boy George.
I tried to be gay for awhile. But you can't be gay in your own bedroom. You can't be gay when you're not gay despite being attracted to men but you don't feel like a man and you don't go out anyway. Meanwhile you're pursuing a quixotic career ambition to try and fit in. Living in a world where being trans is exotic and out there. So you can't be trans. Feeling you're a woman but you can't be because you're obviously male.
Quite difficult really.
It would be so much easier to be gay and a million times easier to be straight.
I tried to be gay. My second ever sexual encounter was strictly gay. Well on his part. Later I met a nurse, he was so straight, so to speak. When Marie was introduced he couldn't cope. It was something I regret but I suppose to be fair to the man. He was a guy, he wasn't looking for a woman. He commented that I was too much like a woman. A kind of compliment.
But even then I simply couldn't accept myself. I was something but I wasn't transgender. Yet I pursued various sexual encounters. None of which I enjoyed very much. They were just experiences. There weren't many by the way, fingers of one hand. I was of course looking for that elusive man who would accept me as a woman. Even though I barely accepted myself.
While I now accept myself as just a woman. I look back and wonder at my confusion.
But different times.
Later it was in part the original transgender boards and a general liberalisation in Ireland and indeed IBM where I worked where everyone apparently assumed I was gay based on my rather effeminate behaviour, even my straight friends. I was not out in my own mind. But I was the only one.
When I came out finally to friends, their only surprise was the trans bit.
They never stopped being friends. James my uber macho straight male friend took the piss out of me but we never lost the closeness we developed because I was the wise person he looked to when we worked together.
Julie, my sweetheart, a strong woman growing up in a tough neighbourhood. She told me of seeing people jump from the flats. She had a hell of a time with her men. We became close in IBM. She stood out, outgoing sexy lovely. She'd wear a dress in work. At Christmas she'd wear antlers. We clicked.
She's partially English but Irish too.We made friends. We hung out together, but me being me wouldn't see it as anything but friends.
Anyway one day Julie asked me to come with her in the car at lunchtime for some errand. She cornerd me.
I told her. She was surprised. Well wouldn't you be? She thought gay.
She completely accepted it. Which is why I adore her.
Last year she came to town with her teenage daughters. We had dinner and caught up. Her second husband let her down. I don't honestly think there's a man who deserves her.
Anyway she's coming to visit in August. I cannot wait. We always have such fun.
Which isn't to diss my wife who honestly I adore. She isn't difficult. We just had a nice little holiday.
Anyway enough self indulgent nonsense.
I tried to be gay for awhile. But you can't be gay in your own bedroom. You can't be gay when you're not gay despite being attracted to men but you don't feel like a man and you don't go out anyway. Meanwhile you're pursuing a quixotic career ambition to try and fit in. Living in a world where being trans is exotic and out there. So you can't be trans. Feeling you're a woman but you can't be because you're obviously male.
Quite difficult really.
It would be so much easier to be gay and a million times easier to be straight.
I tried to be gay. My second ever sexual encounter was strictly gay. Well on his part. Later I met a nurse, he was so straight, so to speak. When Marie was introduced he couldn't cope. It was something I regret but I suppose to be fair to the man. He was a guy, he wasn't looking for a woman. He commented that I was too much like a woman. A kind of compliment.
But even then I simply couldn't accept myself. I was something but I wasn't transgender. Yet I pursued various sexual encounters. None of which I enjoyed very much. They were just experiences. There weren't many by the way, fingers of one hand. I was of course looking for that elusive man who would accept me as a woman. Even though I barely accepted myself.
While I now accept myself as just a woman. I look back and wonder at my confusion.
But different times.
Later it was in part the original transgender boards and a general liberalisation in Ireland and indeed IBM where I worked where everyone apparently assumed I was gay based on my rather effeminate behaviour, even my straight friends. I was not out in my own mind. But I was the only one.
When I came out finally to friends, their only surprise was the trans bit.
They never stopped being friends. James my uber macho straight male friend took the piss out of me but we never lost the closeness we developed because I was the wise person he looked to when we worked together.
Julie, my sweetheart, a strong woman growing up in a tough neighbourhood. She told me of seeing people jump from the flats. She had a hell of a time with her men. We became close in IBM. She stood out, outgoing sexy lovely. She'd wear a dress in work. At Christmas she'd wear antlers. We clicked.
She's partially English but Irish too.We made friends. We hung out together, but me being me wouldn't see it as anything but friends.
Anyway one day Julie asked me to come with her in the car at lunchtime for some errand. She cornerd me.
I told her. She was surprised. Well wouldn't you be? She thought gay.
She completely accepted it. Which is why I adore her.
Last year she came to town with her teenage daughters. We had dinner and caught up. Her second husband let her down. I don't honestly think there's a man who deserves her.
Anyway she's coming to visit in August. I cannot wait. We always have such fun.
Which isn't to diss my wife who honestly I adore. She isn't difficult. We just had a nice little holiday.
Anyway enough self indulgent nonsense.
Last edited by Mariehart11 on Tue Jun 28, 2022 11:41 am; edited 2 times in total
Mariehart11- Posts : 424
Join date : 2021-12-31
Location : West of Ireland
Re: Glastonbury
My wife D'arcy can relate.
She thought she was gay, until you realized she wasn't a man. So being female, made her interested in men. Until men managed to disappoint her due to them usually being closeted gays.
She doesn't hate men, but she isn't into women. But she likes transgender women. Because they often have dicks. So it's complicated for her
Fortunately she has me, a transgender woman with a vagina
Yeah, it would be easier if we had just been gay.
She thought she was gay, until you realized she wasn't a man. So being female, made her interested in men. Until men managed to disappoint her due to them usually being closeted gays.
She doesn't hate men, but she isn't into women. But she likes transgender women. Because they often have dicks. So it's complicated for her
Fortunately she has me, a transgender woman with a vagina
Yeah, it would be easier if we had just been gay.
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Lesley Niyori- Posts : 1074
Join date : 2018-05-18
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