swimsuit time!

With the up and coming trip to Malaga, I need beach wear! Found a couple of one piece suits  which with tummy control help squash thing in the right direction! Got a scarf thingy to go around my waist to help hide stuff! In my mind it will be easier going to the beach than the local swimming pool at home. Need to figure out how to pack up above  better as I just use chicken fillets and pads these days as the silicon forms just don't sit right now

Abby wrote:With the up and coming trip to Malaga, I need beach wear! Found a couple of one piece suits  which with tummy control help squash thing in the right direction! Got a scarf thingy to go around my waist to help hide stuff! In my mind it will be easier going to the beach than the local swimming pool at home. Need to figure out how to pack up above  better as I just use chicken fillets and pads these days as the silicon forms just don't sit right now

I think you should eat the chicken fillets, put the silicon dioxide in burrito shells, and go there flat chested. As a matter of fact, I saw on TV today some female sports people, the females were very hot and gorgeous, and as a matter of fact one of them had as flat a chest as me, which is very flat of course. The main thing that makes you pass as a female, is your visage.

Can see your point, but boobs help get my brain alignment going. Besides they are at that point of to small to fit into A cup, but hurt if unsupported by pads to fill the volume.

Angelic wrote:I think you should eat the chicken fillets, put the silicon dioxide in burrito shells, and go there flat chested. As a matter of fact, I saw on TV today some female sports people, the females were very hot and gorgeous, and as a matter of fact one of them had as flat a chest as me, which is very flat of course. The main thing that makes you pass as a female, is your visage.

What Angelic said.

As a runner, I see lots of cis women whose chests are as flat as my barely A-cups, and there is no doubt they are women. I wear little more than latex nipple covers and a tank top under my shirt or dress, and am close to 100% recognition as female these days. Long hair in a feminine cut, and no beard shadow after lots of electrolysis are probably the most effective things. Yesterday I wearing a men's polo shirt, no makeup, and was called ma'am.

Electrolysis is likely my 2019 mountain to climb.

Shaving is cheap and easy and fast and lasts for like 8 hours.
The thing is, I shave in the morning, and by date time, it's like I hadn't.

Nothing kills the mood like a man kissing your cheek and you have stubble

Lesley Niyori wrote:Electrolysis is likely my 2019 mountain to climb.

Shaving is cheap and easy and fast and lasts for like 8 hours.
The thing is, I shave in the morning, and by date time, it's like I hadn't.

Nothing kills the mood like a man kissing your cheek and you have stubble

I know how you feel. That's part of the reason I don't even bother to go full time woman, its just depressing having to shave every day, especially with all those nicks and cuts and it just gets to be a chore and a burden and you start to get paranoid all that shaving is damaging your skin.

The year of RLT (real life transition) before getting hair removal or hormones is insanity in it's finest bloom. It's almost as if trolls in control of the psychiatry industry thought it was a good idea to do it in the first place. Like walking outside in the hot sun in a dress, with all that male BO, as your hair coverup stars to drip down and patch through the 5 o' clock shadow...

while you walk Wild West saloon style due to your hips chaffing from wearing panties and not having the proper leg spacing of a female to avoid your thighs rubbing together as you walk. I'm sure it all must seem very humorous to whoever the troll was who thought it was a good idea.

Actually, I shave in the tub, a bubble bath made from a lot of moisturizer based bath soap.

I use a moisturizer, not a shaving cream. And my entire head is shaved basically each time in an intense fashion. I don't just shave in a typical manly fashion ie once or two strokes, but rather I shave in a fashion where it is many strokes, every possible direction until there is no sensation of cutting hairs. Nicks and cuts? Nope, I don't even use a mirror. At 56, my hands don't need to be told how to do it. Too many years doing it I can shave every square inch of my body in less time than you would think needed.

It is more or less exfoliating the skin thoroughly daily. Harmful to the skin, nope. And all that moisturizer means my skin is amazingly smooth and amazingly soft. Babies have nothing on me
I have had people remark on how darned soft my skin is.

I never use a skin concealer daily. I might on a day when I go all out and use makeup for the eyes and really leave no stone unturned. But that's a rare effort.

The shrinks expect full time in female attire proves you are serious. The thing is, 'full time' is required for surgery options. It's normal to be on hormones the day you feel like beginning your journey. That's even before your wardrobe change too. So your hormone regimen can even predate your need for shaving and makeup skills. And hormones alter your skin making it softer. It alters your body hair making it disappear. It alters your mood making it easier to feel 'right' about looking feminine.

Female underwear ie panties, actually feel BETTER than male underwear so much so you will marvel at why you didn't change sooner. Thigh gap, it isn't a thing. If I had a dollar for every cisfemale blob I walked past in a day, I'd be able to afford to fly you to Montreal and give you the GRS now The only girls with no thigh gap problem, are also toothpicks that likely don't eat correctly.

I'm happy to say, male BO doesn't exist after hormones. It was rather amusing to realise I no longer smell in the heat even. Very helpful with laundry too. Transgender men though find that they actually BEGIN to smell hot days or not hehe. And they grow hair eeeeverywhere. Most are rather happy about that. Hormones also stop male pattern hair loss immediately. It won't give back anything you already lost though. Women are not all that bald for a reason. It takes most women about 70 years before they notice any thinning of their hair.

Hormones also make me look amazingly younger. Before hormone therapy, I was being mistaken for a senior citizen dang it. I actually had women MY age asking if I needed help crossing a street or a parking lot. Yeah, stopped using the cane after hormones too. I was even once mistaken for my mom's husband of all things. Now, well I am constantly being mistaken as 36 not 56 and certainly not mid-70s.

Yeah, men on dating sites can tend to suspect I might not be cisfemale. Facial structure is totally different. But a proper hairstyle, and a nice lipstick, and earrings and a necklace and an efficient shave, and a man has to be a right total asshole to call me 'sir'. I'm treated as a woman, because I dress like one, carry myself as one and act like one. It makes a difference.

My shaving is more about self-conscious than it is visual.
I can go a day without shaving and you can't 'see' anything.
And really, I'm not getting kissed by men on a daily basis (not even in my dreams hehe).
In fact, in 4 years, I have been kissed no more than 5 times in total. And only one of those was an "oh wow" kiss.

After GRS it's kinda hard to feel anything other than female, regardless of the shaving.
Having a vagina tends to ruin your ability to feel like a man
There's nothing like having a female friend over and she's casual about trying on clothing in your presence. Nothing says acceptance like a girl not caring how much skin she exposes in front of you because you are both girls after all. When you have walked past another woman in just your panties because you are late getting dressed to go somewhere and she's just standing there waiting as if you walking past her in just panties is nothing to even remark on, you are fully female. And no, it's not a lesbian thing, any more than 2 men walking around in a men's change room naked isn't gay.

Funny is my oh so obviously flat chested and pretty 34 year old cisfemale friend asking for tweezers to get rid of annoying facial hairs that are pissing her off.

You'll feel 'male' right up until you tell that voice in your head to fuck off and get with the program eh. It took me a while to see 'me' and not him, but it's not like the image change, but rather the attitude changed.

Hairyness is a big trigger for me these days, heck I grew a beard for several years just so I would not have to look in a mirror to shave. Im having laser to get rid of it, two sessions in and having some effect. I see it as an investment into happyness, and extra sleep once I don't need to spend 20 minutes a day shaving with electronic razor as blades just slice me up in the mornings for some reason. Just need to deal with the rest of the wookie, and hoping that the body hair will change with the hormones. 5 months in so hopefully some time soon, as getting my little boobs waxed was a little painful, although not as bad as epilating them!

Abby wrote:Hairyness is a big trigger for me these days, heck I grew a beard for several years just so I would not  have to look in a mirror to shave.  Im having laser to get rid of it, two sessions in and having some effect. I see it as an investment into happyness, and extra sleep once I don't need to spend 20 minutes a day shaving with electronic razor as blades just slice me up in the mornings for some reason. Just need to deal with the rest of the wookie, and hoping that the body hair will change with the hormones. 5 months in so hopefully some time soon, as getting my little boobs waxed was a little painful, although not as bad as epilating them!

Understandable. I tried that route before of not shaving, just not worth it. Because you cant avoid mirrors, if you walk passed a window or open a glass door you will accidentally see your reflection, of the bearded monstrosity you hate. One time this happened to me.

It was a phase in my life where I said I am putting my foot down, I'm manning up. I would redpill and the redpillers said women want a manly man and in order to get laid I must be masculine. So I decided to give up transsexualism, I said transsexualism is a conspiracy of the US Government so they can have a non-violent society for when they enslave us all.

So I decided to give up transsexualism, but every time I'd go out I'd feel a stress like I was being pulled back by an invisible force of string theory, like a black hole was pulling against my soul. Like my body would walk forward, but my soul wanted to escape my body and stay in place. It was like one of those Looney Tunes cartoons where daffy duck moves forward, but his ghost refuses to move and stays in place. And I felt like this everyday as a male. And when I'd talk to people, it didn't feel like it was me talking, but this shell of a body talking like a robot and it wasn't me, while my brain was turning inward and rolling my eyes, sometimes I would even blackout slightly like my brain wanted to shut off the reality of the shitshow. And I got this pain in my head whenever I went out and this constant feeling of stress and anger, like I wanted to strangle someone, but the fact it was illegal made me rage even more and hurt my head even worse.

Then one day it all came to a climatic end, I accidentally saw my own reflection, as a hulkin male, with facial hair, and I actually screamed out of shock. For a second I actually thought I was about to get mugged by someone. Then I realized that person was supposedly me. And then I felt depressed and humble. And then I realized being male was not for me, and that no matter what I had to be beautiful, I had to have a feminine face and wanting to have a cunt. Boobs didn't matter that much, but at the very least I had to have a feminine face or else I would go insane.



Also, wanted to let you know, not sure gene therapy will get rid of facial hair, but maybe it will. This is because, if you change your genes will it actually kill the hair follicles or just let them linger for years and years?

Lesley Niyori wrote:Actually, I shave in the tub, a bubble bath made from a lot of moisturizer based bath soap.

My question is how do you clean the hair out of the tub because it either clogs the drain or sticks on to the tub and it takes me 5 hours to clean and after my back is fully broken there is still hair left over afterwards.

I use a moisturizer, not a shaving cream. And my entire head is shaved basically each time in an intense fashion. I don't just shave in a typical manly fashion ie once or two strokes, but rather I shave in a fashion where it is many strokes, every possible direction until there is no sensation of cutting hairs.

For me the manly fashion is the feminine fashion, I want to shave as fast as humanly possible so I don't have to see my stubble for any longer than I have to. For me shaving should not be a relaxing or soothing feminine experience, it should be that of desperate rage and dysphoria, at contempt and envy of the universe.

It is more or less exfoliating the skin thoroughly daily. Harmful to the skin, nope. And all that moisturizer means my skin is amazingly smooth and amazingly soft. Babies have nothing on me
I have had people remark on how darned soft my skin is.

Sex and gender is meaningless and a social construct. My dads skin is softer than my moms. Many men have softer skin than females.

I never use a skin concealer daily. I might on a day when I go all out and use makeup for the eyes and really leave no stone unturned. But that's a rare effort.

Unfortunately I have to, because you can see my deep follicles due to the universe being cruel to me. And when I go to shave by underbeard, I can't get a good shave because my adams apple makes it bumpy, plus I have a slightly saggy underbeard, froglike semi-double chin, loosely similar to, but not as bad as, Benjamin Franklin.

The shrinks expect full time in female attire proves you are serious. The thing is, 'full time' is required for surgery options.

If I want to be a cuntboy I want to be a cuntboy. Your clothing choice has nothing to do with it. Sex-changes ought to be determined based solely on your sex-life. The only people who regretted a sex-change were people who were obsessed with penetrating their partner. But I have always been the submissive one sexually. I consider myself a submissive dominatrix, like a dominatrix who orders her slave to fuck her hard, lick her feet and eat her cunt good. This should be the only requirement for a sex change.
But people seem to have some sort of prison agenda, where I can't just be some happy cuntboy in a female prison, I have to be a miserable transwoman in a male prison to be raped. It is all about the prison agenda. They want to keep males down. They can't be having males be cuntboys and get sex changes, because all men would want a sex-change so they can go to a female prison, anarchy and disobedience would ensue and so the powers that be want to keep us all down. Still, they should make exceptions for people like me.

It's normal to be on hormones the day you feel like beginning your journey. That's even before your wardrobe change too. So your hormone regimen can even predate your need for shaving and makeup skills. And hormones alter your skin making it softer. It alters your body hair making it disappear. It alters your mood making it easier to feel 'right' about looking feminine.

I've always felt right about looking feminine in private, it was just the crippling fear of the public eye that made me afraid to leave my home as anything but your average ordinary obedient male.
Sometimes though my AGP gets the best of me, and sometimes I look so sexy that it makes me feel stressed, because I see how sexy I am, and first I think about hot it would be for me to be lusted after by society, and I imagine I am a sexy whore getting laid with everyone and it turns me on. But then it turns negative and I start to get mad because, I feel like no matter what I am forever alone, and it feels rigged and unfair, like even though I'm pretty noone appreciates me, and it feels insane and confusing and I start to rage. So what do I do then? I go outside. I look in the mirror and see how ugly I am in certain types of lighting. And the fact I am ugly gives me relief, I say to myself, yes it is good that people treat me like a piece of shit, I am an ugly piece of shit, a genetic monstrosity and now it all makes sense, the mathematics of it adds up, and it feels fair. Then I go to bed and cry and wish I was dead.

Female underwear ie panties, actually feel BETTER than male underwear so much so you will marvel at why you didn't change sooner. Thigh gap, it isn't a thing. If I had a dollar for every cisfemale blob I walked past in a day, I'd be able to afford to fly you to Montreal and give you the GRS now The only girls with no thigh gap problem, are also toothpicks that likely don't eat correctly.

Yes I wear them most of the time now, the other ones hurt my penis. It is overly sensitive because they circumcized me against my consent as a baby. But because I am male, they have a justification to butcher me against my consent, because male babies do not have rights.
I do think it is a conspiracy to make males wear uncomfortable clothing, I notice wearing certain types of male clothing makes me depressed and anhedonic and suffocating. And its not psychological, but physical, they put chemicals and fire-retardant on it so it's toxic to your skin.
As soon as I switch to female clothing I feel immediate physical and psychological relief. Except in public because I am afraid of all the bigots judging me. But I am starting to overcome my fear of them.

About the thigh gap, if people did not have thigh gap they would get thigh rash. Are you saying all women in bikinis have thigh rash?

I'm happy to say, male BO doesn't exist after hormones. It was rather amusing to realise I no longer smell in the heat even. Very helpful with laundry too.

Yes, that is good.

Transgender men though find that they actually BEGIN to smell hot days or not hehe. And they grow hair eeeeverywhere. Most are rather happy about that.

No idea why. Like I get that transmen want to have the social status of being a man who is a rugged soldier. But most cis men do not like the smell of their own BO, and some cis men don't like their own body hair. So I don't know why transmen jump for joy at this.

Hormones also stop male pattern hair loss immediately. It won't give back anything you already lost though. Women are not all that bald for a reason. It takes most women about 70 years before they notice any thinning of their hair.

Its because of DHT. You get it from male aggression and rage. But for some reason my rage does not seem to masculinize me, it makes me look more feminine in the mirror. Maybe some types of rage are more feminine than other. DHT rage is more like cop rage, and since cops are the opposite of the joker, I would hazard that joker rage is a feminine rage, and that is why joker does not ever bald, but has long green hair of medusa. My dad also has rage issues as well, I simply assumed it was masculine rage, like he would rage over nothing like a tissue, or potato chip would fall to the ground and he would rage. I thought this was masculine rage, until I met another transsexual who raged the exact same as my dad, and then I began to wonder if this was a feminine rage.

Hormones also make me look amazingly younger. Before hormone therapy, I was being mistaken for a senior citizen dang it. I actually had women MY age asking if I needed help crossing a street or a parking lot. Yeah, stopped using the cane after hormones too. I was even once mistaken for my mom's husband of all things. Now, well I am constantly being mistaken as 36 not 56 and certainly not mid-70s.

Yes I hear female hormones are taken by male celebrities to make them look younger. But I would hazard a guess testosterone makes people look younger too. This is because, I have a trans friend who refuses to stop taking spirolactone even though I showed them numerous scientific reports given to me by other transsexuals warning about it. And they keep aging and complaining about aging and I tell them there testosterone needs to rise because their low testosterone is making them age. And then they tell me how estrogen reverses aging, and I say, yes, I know, but it only works if you have a sufficient level of testosterone or else you are going to keep on aging. I think this also explains how the more flat chested transsexuals look more facially feminine than other transsexuals. Because they have more testosterone, which interacts and amplifies the youthful effects of estrogen. Meanwhile I have seem some transsexuals with very big boobs but did not pass at all in the face. Still there are some exceptions, transsexuals with big boobs and a pretty face, these transsexuals of whom I both hate and adore.

Yeah, men on dating sites can tend to suspect I might not be cisfemale. Facial structure is totally different. But a proper hairstyle, and a nice lipstick, and earrings and a necklace and an efficient shave, and a man has to be a right total asshole to call me 'sir'. I'm treated as a woman, because I dress like one, carry myself as one and act like one. It makes a difference.

In a perfect Earth yes but this one seems to be saturated with assholes who just breed more assholes, while good people, like you and me, are left out of the gene pool.

My shaving is more about self-conscious than it is visual.
I can go a day without shaving and you can't 'see' anything.
And really, I'm not getting kissed by men on a daily basis (not even in my dreams hehe).
In fact, in 4 years, I have been kissed no more than 5 times in total. And only one of those was an "oh wow" kiss.

Still more than me, plus if I don't shave for every 8 hours I don't pass, and even when I do shave I still don't pass, so the "full-time as a woman" thing is nonsense for me.

After GRS it's kinda hard to feel anything other than female, regardless of the shaving.
Having a vagina tends to ruin your ability to feel like a man

Yeah I know that is why it irritates me that I never got to use my penis into a vagina. Because I want to have a sex-change to get rid of these man thoughts, I don't even care if I pass I will be happy as even a cuntboy. But the fact I never put my penis into a vagina is frustrating to me and makes me feel like a man, like I am doomed to forever not have a sex change until I man up and put it right in the pussy. So its like a double whammy of doom, I have to man up, when my goal is to escape from having to man up.

There's nothing like having a female friend over and she's casual about trying on clothing in your presence. Nothing says acceptance like a girl not caring how much skin she exposes in front of you because you are both girls after all.

Yes this is how it was with my old girlfriends. Of course I would have sex with them after a few hours of gaining the courage to talk to them about hot they were in those panties. Nothing to be jealous of, they didn't truly love me, and I never got to put the penis in the vag, it was always some kind of buttsex, dry humping, or oral nonsense, and it only happened like a few times. I could never get the condom on, despite my penis only being somewhat bigger than average, a despite the condom being marketed as oversize, trying to put it on hurt my penis, also whenever I tried to put it on I lost my sex drive, and they didn't want to get pregnant, and for some reason were deathly afraid of morning after pills or contraceptives.

When you have walked past another woman in just your panties because you are late getting dressed to go somewhere and she's just standing there waiting as if you walking past her in just panties is nothing to even remark on, you are fully female. And no, it's not a lesbian thing, any more than 2 men walking around in a men's change room naked isn't gay.

No idea how that would happen, I thought you lived alone?

Also 2 men naked in a changing room is gay. Also, if 2 hot women are naked together it is lesbian, but if they are not hot then there is nothing lesbian about it.

Funny is my oh so obviously flat chested and pretty 34 year old cisfemale friend asking for tweezers to get rid of annoying facial hairs that are pissing her off.

You'll feel 'male' right up until you tell that voice in your head to fuck off and get with the program eh. It took me a while to see 'me' and not him, but it's not like the image change, but rather the attitude changed.

Yep I know how you feel. You start life as a sissy and feminine but then society bucks you over and tells you to man up. So you man up, and they reward you by giving you a crappy life, so now you desperately want to go back to your old self but you have already been so damaged by the brainwashing society made you do to yourself that you are constantly guilted and bombarded that its wrong to not man up.

You've made some peculiar statements there Angel.

No, when I shave in the tub, it goes down the drain just fine. It's not that much hair.
I don't shave for laughs, not sure anyone does. But I don't over think it either.
Sometimes your posts confound me where your sexuality is concerned.
You really need to stop hating on yourself.
Submissive dominatrix is a contradiction.
I have large upper legs. Healthy strong upper legs. There isn't any gap. No, I don't suffer from a rash. And because I don't wear pants, I don't need to care about wear to the instep either. Nothing down there but my panties and panties don't have an instep either.
Never met anyone that likes being smelly. But it's reaffirming to be like the gender you desire to be.
Hence, most transgender females wish they could menstruate as it would mean they could have babies too. Most transgender men don't want the hassle of BO and shaving, but it reaffirms their gender by needing to do so. I doubt I'd like the bloating and the bleeding and the cramps any more than any other woman.
Estrogen hasn't made me younger, only apparently younger. Climbing stairs is a heck of a reminder of how old my body is. But I look great in a picture.
I was glad to ditch the need for anti-androgens. Regardless of what type you use, it's going to be hard on some organ in your body.
You are either man enough to enjoy a penis, or woman enough to not care if you ever get to feel what using one is like. I would suggest you decide which though.
I am not turned on by girls, and most girls are not lesbians.
And most men are not gay.
I don't see my gal friends as 'hot' even if they are apparently attractive. Sue is 67 and Carolyn is 34, and if I was a lesbian, I'd be looking for someone my age.
I do indeed live alone, oh, well, there is my husband Frank actually (you know, my teddy bear).
I have friends drop by occasionally. Generally female friends. We have girl's nights get-togethers where we eat snacks, gossip and watch videos. Not all girls do this though.

Tried to cover everything.

Lesley Niyori wrote:You've made some peculiar statements there Angel.

No, when I shave in the tub, it goes down the drain just fine. It's not that much hair.

I guess you have the magic and I don't.

You really need to stop hating on yourself.

I don't hate my self, only my body, my body is not my self.

Submissive dominatrix is a contradiction.

Nope take a minute and see what I'm saying. If you are the one being penetrated and the female it is submissive. But you can wear sexy clothes and dominate them. Do you understand?
If I ask someone to give me a foot rub I am dominating them. But if I sit back and relax to it I am being submissive. Hope this makes more sense.

I have large upper legs. Healthy strong upper legs. There isn't any gap. No, I don't suffer from a rash. And because I don't wear pants, I don't need to care about wear to the instep either. Nothing down there but my panties and panties don't have an instep either.

More magic that I guess I don't have, apparently you have magical immunity to skin rash.

I was glad to ditch the need for anti-androgens. Regardless of what type you use, it's going to be hard on some organ in your body.

How did you do this, so I can relay this to my friend.

You are either man enough to enjoy a penis, or woman enough to not care if you ever get to feel what using one is like. I would suggest you decide which though.

More either or binary. You are in the gender lands, I am not. Noone is 100% man or woman. I might be a woman for 3 hours but then get interrupted from my womanly lands by my male ego alterting me that, "Hey guess what, you have no penis, and you never did feel like what it feels like, so now you will die in absolute ignorance and a failure." and no im not gonna be a buddhist monk for 10 years to escape my ego.

And now you see how this could mess up my transition, and my mental ability to stay in womenlands for long periods mentally, because my male ego never got their curiosity satisfied and its like a thorn that wont go away. It's like one of those ancient demons, once you complete the ancient quest for it it will go away, otherwise it will continue to haunt you.

Its really not even about gender. An equivalent situation would be in the future, they think of some cure to permanently cure poop, so you never wipe again. And all I want to do is poop, just one time, to see what it feels like, but I can't, because I can never poop again. And while not pooping again seems objectively better on paper, as a curious soul I will never live it down.

I am not turned on by girls, and most girls are not lesbians.

My mom doesn't like chocolate but she doesn't know what she is missing, and I cannot empathize or understand how someone cannot like chocolate or lesbians. By chocolate I am not talking about black people, but actual candy of chocolate.

And most men are not gay.
I don't see my gal friends as 'hot' even if they are apparently attractive. Sue is 67 and Carolyn is 34, and if I was a lesbian, I'd be looking for someone my age.

Most men and women are bi. Only thing fueling men from being gay is testosterone, the moment they dont have it anymore being gay no longer makes them rage. The main thing keep women from being lesbian is the nasty nature of the vagina.

I do indeed live alone, oh, well, there is my husband Frank actually (you know, my teddy bear).
I have friends drop by occasionally. Generally female friends. We have girl's nights get-togethers where we eat snacks, gossip and watch videos. Not all girls do this though.

Tried to cover everything.

Used to be into dolls my whole life till I got tired of being alone and talking to myself my whole life, I guess I was destined to be insane.

You know, sitting here on the beach, in my swimming costume is probably the most afferming thing I have done so far. Ok I have not gone top less like half of the women here (may be next year, when I have more than AA