First, I would like to state I have BPD. Borderline Personality. Here is a short description of what it is, please read it before continuing further. (You don't have to read the whole thing, just browse it a little.)
https://themighty.com/2018/08/high-functioning-bpd-borderline-personality-disorder/?utm_source=quora&utm_medium=referral
I am a woman. I need to be loved. I need to be adored. I needed to be treated like a human being. And yet, I get none of these things from the LGBT community.
I didn't always use to be a mean and abrasive person. They made me this way. Let me tell you the first day it all started to go downhill.
I transitioned to female. I didn't pass, and I wasn't a real female. But I was told I was hot online. I finally went on my first date. As a man I was always afraid to date, feeling like I was unworthy and ugly.
I dated an Aryan Transwoman. She did not pass and looked like a man, but I fall in love easy. Our date went well. We hugged and it seemed she was into me and ended on a good note. However my first mistake was 3 days later I revealed to her that I loved her. I said "I love you" in one of my messages. Then she just ghosted me and never spoke to me again. I guess I just wasn't good enough for her Aryan nazi standards, as I was not a purebreed like her.
That was the beginning of my downward spiral. I then was admitted into the mental hospital, for having panick attacks. I met 2 cis girls there, who wanted to date me. But as soon as they got out of the mental hosptial, they ghosted me. Couldn't care less. I was just a toy for them at the hospital, once they got out, they sought wealthier, and whiter men to exploit.
My trust and self worth were now at a steady decline. Almost 25 and still no real relationship or even experienced a good one night stand.
So I go into an LGBT place. I meet a passing transwoman. She gave me a ride to the bus stop and played board games. She said she would be my mentor and best friend. She said she would teach me the ways of being a transwoman. And she said she would help me get a job to be a prostitute like her. I said I was a bit leery about being a whore, but I would contact her on facebook to talk about it more. So she added me on facebook. But the next day she blocked and ghosted me for no explanation. What a fucking cunt. I couldn't stand it. Not only did she pass better than me, but was a cunt to me as well. And then it loops that she was a prostitute, but apparently I wasn't good enough to get laid with her.
To make a long story short, repeat of the same shit. Cis girls give me contact info, then don't respond to a simple hello, then ghost me with no explanation.
Then it's back to transwomen. Transwomen I fall in love with, and they lead me on like they are in love with me. Then they just decide to date someone else instead of me. Endless sexual and romantic frustration. Then they end up sleeping with someone who is crazier than me, and passes less than me, and just does some stupid one-night stand with them when I could have given them real love.
The shitshow never ends. If you are a real person who has love, the world breaks you and ruins you and turns you into garbage. That's the kind of world this is.
The narcissim of transwomen is so deep and dank. I even had this one trans acquantance who I was nothing but nice to. And they go around spreading fake news and gossip about me just to mess up my reputation in the lgbt community. And they are nothing more than a dumb cunt who sucks dicks of old men all day because they are a degenerate. And that isn't fake news I am not making it up. But what they say about me is mostly made up with only a small kernel of half-truth included.
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And then I go to these stupid transwomen get togethers and gatherings. And everyone is so fake. They act nice to me then just ghost me after the party is over. One of them sat next to me and started sexually molesting me. I liked it because, I thought finally I would have a date. Then they got up to get a bite to eat and said they would be right back. I waited a half-hour and they just completely forgot about me or didn't care. Such extreme toxic narcissism in the community. Half of them add me on facebook, and then just ghost me, and instead of responding to any of my nice messages, they just spam selfies on their wall all day. Such self-absorbed cunts.
One of these cunts straight up told me it's a bad idea to date them because they are a toxic narcissist. But I said I am willing to deal with it, I just don't want to be so lonely. Then they proceeded to tell me what's best for me, and that it would be better for me to be alone, in a typical toxic narcissist fashion always telling me what to do and what's best for me. They don't know jack shit about me.
So honestly it's hard for me to support the trans community any more. The vast majority of them have been abusive cunts to me. I only told you half the shit that has happened to me, there has actually been double that, but I didn't want you to get bored of reading. The people who are usually nice to me are cisgenders, or older transwomen. The younger generation of transwomen seem to be very cold and duplicitous. Although there are a couple exceptions, here and there.
And it's like the conservatives call transwomen a bunch of degenerates, reason for social decay. And its like, I want to stand up and say it isn't so. But these transwomen are running our own community to the ground. How can I actually argue that they aren't degenerate assholes? When so many are rotten to the core?
I feel like a military commander of the LGBT community. And I want my soldiers to stand up straight and wear pristine uniforms and be a good soldier for me. But instead half of them are rebellious traitors who can't take orders, who have mustard and ketchup all over their uniforms and go around on their IPODs and sharing stupid meme videos all day like degenerates. And it makes us weak. It makes us weak to the enemy and they are destroying our community. And these transwomen are mutining their glorious commander and spitting in my face. And I feel like willy wonka or a parent of children who are just a lost cause and I can no longer tolerate their vicious disrespect and abuse.
You know what it feels like? Like I am Jesus christ trying to save the jews from hellfire. And my own jews conspire against me and try to crucify me. And that I am Jesus trying to save jews from the fiery furnace of hitler damnation. I tell the jews to make some good art. But they all make crappy art so hitler makes fun of them. I tell them to be upstanding, so hitler cannot make fun of them, but they refuse to make upstanding art so hitler makes fun of them. I say to them, do something noble and good so the neonazis no longer make fun of you. And what do they do? Bomb palestine and bomb hospitals. This is the equivalent of what the trans community is doing to the right, not doing a single thing to get the admiration of the right.
So enough about them. Even now I try to be a good person. There is a transwoman I had a crush on. And I started to feel love again. But my other trans friend said they wanted to rekindle their marriage (they are married to a cis girl who doesn't approve of them being trans.) So once again, I put my feelings aside to cater to theirs. I hide my feelings. My feelings don't matter. It's all about other people being happy. Doesn't matter if I'm happy, everyone else gets to be happy but me! Its been nearly 30 years and I still haven't had one decent relationship (or even one decent one night stand!)
So yeah. Bring on the accusations of narcissism. Bring on the accusations of victim blaming and saying I brought it on myself because I can't love. Call me an empty shell. Well maybe I am an empty shell who tries not to feel love, because I'm sick of getting my heartbroken every two goddamn seconds. I am so sick of people trying to defend this rotten society. Fuck em all. Fuck the nazis. Fuck the SJWs. They are all insane. They are all rotten people. The only good people are in My LIttle Pony shows. My Little Pony is superior. All else is inferior, subhuman.
Also, if you think I'm negative for merely reporting the atrocities that transwomen (and some cis) have done to me, then that's fascism. I am so sick of transwomen who tell me I need to have a good attitude and be positive, even when everyday the negative memories loop and I Have PTSD yet I am told I have to be happy at my heartbreak! Everyday it loops about the girls I once loved and how I never got any love and how noone loves me, yet I have to smile!!! It feels like George Orwell 1984 where I have to obey a rotten society!!!!
Re: negativity and toxicity within the community
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