Hi! I’m Stephani. New here and seeking community!

[Steffer999]

Hi everyone!

My name is Stephani and I am a woman living in New York who after decades of denial decided today to say out loud that I am trans and I am a woman! I told my therapist, but so far, that is about it! I’d love to hear your experiences on how to handle the next steps, like beginning to find medical care, support groups, and how to talk to friends and family. Any NY specific information would be amazing!

Looking forward to enjoying this community and learning!

[Tara]

Welcome Stephani!

[Celia Eriksson]

Hi Stephani,

Welcome to the boards.

Xx

[Lesley Niyori]

Welcome dear.

Beyond the cliche advice, my own comments, don't be totally afraid of gatekeeping.
Sometimes you WANT to experience a bit of it. YOU want to ask questions, lots of questions.

And often they will ask questions you might not have thought of as well.

An observation (after having observed many mine included), hormones, ONLY do it with a professional watching of course. But, additionally, be ready to experience CHANGE, a lot of change, and likely most of it mental more than physical.
Yeah, you get boobs in most cases. But that takes time, a LOT of time in comparison to the other changes. You experience body hair loss (not on the face sadly). Skin change and potential loss of metabolism (so be ready to adjust your diet).
But most significantly, you likely experience sexual appetite shifts. Modified preferences. And you open some very confusing doors. None of it is good or bad. Just a lot of WTF? Didn't see that coming.

My best examples of my experience "OMG I need a man". "I am soo NOT going out alone at night now" and a loss of aggression that sort of muddied my fondness for competitive games.

So sit back, ask a lot of questions. Ask us any damned thing you can think of, no limits, none, whatever enters your head, no level of embarrassing or gross sounding:) We've all been THERE.

[lisa]

Agreed, also be aware the changes and their pace are generally different for everybody...

But first steps, you want to get with your medical provider to get started or find one who is comfortable with managing your transition.  I did (last year in the spring) and boy howdy what a world of difference has opened up now - on hormones since last October late (so 9 months) and it's sort of like in The Wizard of Oz when everything goes from black and white to technicolor - not that my world was every black and white (I've been out for years but consistently didn't do much about it medically until now) but this new world is better than I'd ever imagined.

I feel happy now, in a way that's in distinct difference to how I used to feel...dysphoria.  You can get used to it, but you can change it, and the changes really work (I guess I have to say if that's how you're wired - I certainly knew this since I was a little kid, really).

The other thing is that it all tends to go slower than you want.  It took a LONG time to book an appointment with an endocrinologist who specialized in hormone therapy, and I had to cancel the first appt due to the heat dome we had last year (103).  I really wanted to meet in person not virtually, and it was (eventually) very helpful to me to see how normalizing it was to actually be doing something.

I started off slow and gradually built up hormones, with frequent blood panel labs, until presently I'm taking 6mg Estradiol and 200mg micronized Progesterone daily.  I can't tolerate Spironolactone for testosterone suppression due to leg cramps but when I hit one year of hormones and have two letters of diagnosis (of persistent gender dysphoria, doing that now) my insurance will cover orchiectomy (there's only one left on the right, long story).  And I figure saving a thousand or two $ is worth the wait.  Plus that unlocks them paying for other surgery I'm looking for now, and it helps prove to my MD that I'm not gonna change my mind about any of it.

YMMV but I've encountered nothing but support and encouragement.  I mean, I'm obviously endowed now, since I started with significant breast development during puberty, but I'm just rocking it and enjoying the whole thing.  I suspect I "glow" somehow, I've gotten gendered appropriately out loud recently exiting the post office by an older gent who I held the door open for, as in "How's your day going, young lady?" without even a hint of irony or backtracking.

When I've tried tracking people and their reactions all I see is normal stuff.  I was wary but it seems a lot of my fears were groundless.  I should say I also live in a very liberal state, so that could be a factor, but I think simple self-confidence is a key.  I'm encouraged to improve my posture and fix the slouch I adopted during puberty.  

I've been doing laser for facial hair, which unfortunately leaves the gray ones to be dealt with via electrolysis - but it gets rid of the roots that show through when I shave.  Just two sessions have brought a marked change.  Be aware laser is not considered to be a permanent fix, and it too takes a while to get hairs all through their cycle.  But it's helping me a lot right now.

Anyway feel free to ask questions of any sort, and welcome.

Lisa

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