Relationship Tips

So, I tried other apps like Bumble, Grindr, few others. I went to dragoncon, and actually went to a lgbtq bar/club, it was my first one I went to. It was my best club I've ever been to. However, I only went once. However, where I live there isn't a club/bar like that. I was on this chat site, found a guy I was talking to, he seems to have ghosted me, I was going to travel to meet him. He lives have a country away, but I was willing to meet him.

My question is what is the best way to meet men/dates?

Strangely enough, it appears, maybe mainly for transgender girls, that Grindr is the popular favourite.

Not sure why, it is supposed to be for gay men ostensibly.

But some observations.

Gay men are still functionally 'men'. And they won't mind a transgender woman being pre-op as they don't have a problem with their partner having a penis.

Additionally, it seems transgender people feel safer among gay men. A lot of transgender men, seem ok around gay men.

My partner is proof of my observations, and the internet has also claimed that the transgender community seems to like Grindr.

And that's my take on the question.

Of course, apply all the logical advice concerning how to actually meet up.

Lesley Niyori wrote:
Of course, apply all the logical advice concerning how to actually meet up.

Which is sound advice..... I am not aiming this at you. I am giving out general advice for all, whoever they are. It goes something like this....

Never, ever, go on any first, second or third date without telling someone else where you are going and exactly when. Even better, give them the name and picture of who you are meeting and tell this third person exactly how, where and when you met them.

Do tell that third person that you shall telephone them at two or three set times, 1/4 hour each side of that time. And, in case you forget, ask them to phone you should it pass that time period. (Go to the loo to phone).  

Do meet in a public obvious and open spaced place, if you do not know the area, google it and suggest the place. Do look from a safe place before meeting him. Check him out. Check he is who he says he is. Does he look the same? If he does not, he is a liar, turn and leave.


Do not be tempted to dress skimpy. He will automatically believe sex is on the menu.... you may not, once you have met him.

Watch your food/drink closely, very closely. When leaving to go to the loo, or to phone, ensure you have finished your drink/food. You can even say you will choose another drink/food upon your return. If any drink/food awaits you upon your return, make an excuse not to drink/eat it. Say I don't feel like it. Say, can I have a (something else) instead etc.....

And there is no point watching your drink and food for a spiking..... if you drink too much.... do not get drunk.... not even merry....

Worth doing for the first few dates.

As I said, this is general, obvious advice how to stay safe. There are plenty of websites giving good advice how to stay safe. Look them up and check out how to stay safe when dating somebody you do not know well.

Well, on a lighter note, I hope all goes very well and hope you have a very lovely time. There are many, many very nice men out there. Many of them love transgender women and make good partners/husbands/boyfriends.....

I am old fashioned these days. I want to date a few times at least before sex. I am aware that times have changed lots since my heyday, and yes I admit, back then I took chances, many times. But, do always bear in mind that there are some rotten apples out there.

Celia xx

I second and third Celia's advice about letting someone know where and with who you will be with, especially given the high rate of bad first dates the transfolk are involved in.

Celia Eriksson wrote:

Lesley Niyori wrote:
Of course, apply all the logical advice concerning how to actually meet up.

Which is sound advice..... I am not aiming this at you. I am giving out general advice for all, whoever they are. It goes something like this....

Never, ever, go on any first, second or third date without telling someone else where you are going and exactly when. Even better, give them the name and picture of who you are meeting and tell this third person exactly how, where and when you met them.

Do tell that third person that you shall telephone them at two or three set times, 1/4 hour each side of that time. And, in case you forget, ask them to phone you should it pass that time period. (Go to the loo to phone).  

Do meet in a public obvious and open spaced place, if you do not know the area, google it and suggest the place. Do look from a safe place before meeting him. Check him out. Check he is who he says he is. Does he look the same? If he does not, he is a liar, turn and leave.


Do not be tempted to dress skimpy. He will automatically believe sex is on the menu.... you may not, once you have met him.

Watch your food/drink closely, very closely. When leaving to go to the loo, or to phone, ensure you have finished your drink/food. You can even say you will choose another drink/food upon your return. If any drink/food awaits you upon your return, make an excuse not to drink/eat it. Say I don't feel like it. Say, can I have a (something else) instead etc.....

And there is no point watching your drink and food for a spiking..... if you drink too much.... do not get drunk.... not even merry....

Worth doing for the first few dates.

As I said, this is general, obvious advice how to stay safe. There are plenty of websites giving good advice how to stay safe. Look them up and check out how to stay safe when dating somebody you do not know well.

Well, on a lighter note, I hope all goes very well and hope you have a very lovely time. There are many, many very nice men out there. Many of them love transgender women and make good partners/husbands/boyfriends.....

I am old fashioned these days. I want to date a few times at least before sex. I am aware that times have changed lots since my heyday, and yes I admit, back then I took chances, many times. But, do always bear in mind that there are some rotten apples out there.

Celia xx

I hope I replied right, because I've never done this before. I just cancelled a date, because first he said he wanted to meet in public, then he said if I could host, I was like I haven't met you yet, Then I said maybe we can talk at a park or something, then time went by, he said how about we go on a car date. I said well okay, but where do you want to meet, he then proceeded to say I can park in front of your house. It just seem to off, like he was trying to get in my house. Or know where I live.

I'm sure it was genuine, but I was scared and didn't want to take the risk after that.

Definitely a few alarm bells there Emily. Celia's advice is good and I broke most of them on my first 'date'. I got away with it.

First I told no one, well I wasn't out anyway. No mobile phones or Internet then. I arranged to meet him in his car down a quiet side road at night. I dressed very sexy but to be fair it was always on the agenda. On my way to the meeting point tottering along in high heels. I was surprised to run into a lot of people on the way to a church service. I got some funny looks.

Then I got into his car without a second thought and off we went. To who knows where . But it was a warehouse where he worked. Not very romantic.

In the end he was very pleasant but I was lucky despite my incredible naivety. If he turned nasty, I was in big trouble. I could have disappeared that night and have never been seen again.

I could say I learned my lesson but I didn't. I was lucky.

You really have to be so careful.