Warning, this is going to be harsh

Another pride month is here.

So what. So fucking what.

What is pride to Bunny? Not fucking much.

It's gay men walking around in outrageous outfits, it's lesbians trying to be outrageous too.
It's transgender people hoping they are safe in numbers, and all while the gay men think if you ain't got a penis, you ain't a man. Which really just is them saying fuck you to transgender men. It's TERFS hiding among lesbians telling transgender women we are all a bunch of fucking men in a dress.

Are their numbers significant? NO!
Are they any different than terrorists and fanatics by numbers? NO!
And that is the point. They are not legion, but they sure get the power of their negative press.

The cisgender in the LGBT and the cisgender in the boring hetero normative might as well be allies of each other.

I don't trust a cisgender person without question regardless of their sexuality.
Faggot, queer, white Christian, republican, they are all potentially equally as dangerous.
Fuck the acronym.

The ONLY portion of Pride I have use for, is the shared venue is easier for transgender persons to meet transgender persons. But as for gays, lesbians or any flavour of not hetero, I couldn't give a flying fuck.
I'm demisexual. Which means I couldn't care less what you have between your legs. I'm only able to be interested in what's between your ears. And the only reason I have for the word 'demisexual' is it's faster to write than this paragraph was. But most heteros think anything, not hetero is somehow 'evil' or queer. And they think transgender is something about sex.

The brutal truth is there are transgender people, and people who either haven't a clue what transgender is or they just hate us, often because we scare them. Transgender hate can come from anywhere. Gays, lesbians, churches, blacks, Latins Asians, whatever.

My only safe place(s), are places that either knows me personally as a friend or are just unaware I'm transgender. An LGBT event, facility, or group is NOT a default safe place in my definition of that term 'safe'.

Now, I'm several years past, surgery. I'm several years more past those first confusing years.
I'm finally comfortable with my being transgender. Comfortable enough I no longer feel a need to justify my existence locally. But, there are places I just ain't going.

Texas. Saying "not all Texans" is as useless to my ears as 'not all' any other fucking group possessing dangerous persons in sizable numbers.
Russia. Saudi Arabia, Indonesia, basically LGBT hating or specifically transgender hating places.
And the US is more or less a transgender-hating country when it comes to official laws. I don't care if the corner store owner doesn't have a problem with me the day I buy a snack there. If his state is hateful, they are ALL potentially dangerous.

I DO NOT CARE what the troubles and plights of gays and lesbians are. Fuck em. Like they have fucked me. And to be clear, I DO know nice gays and lesbians. Planey. I know of a lot of nice white Christians too. And they are still silent when it comes to fixing the means ones among them.

My local town likely will have a lame Pride this year. The person I think is still in charge, is a young gay man who can't see transgender men as men. Fuck him. If his thinking is fucking shitty to my transgender brothers then he can forget being any friend of mine.

So yeah, Pride, whatever. There are only two dates on the transgender calendar that matter. End of March and visibility. End of November and remembering those we have lost to violence.
Pride is just a celebration of non-hetero sex. A chance to dress up or dress down, or walk around in bizarre outfits that are barely legal. Hell, I've seen people walk in Pride parades fucking naked with running shoes being about safety for their feet.

I was born transgender. Didn't find out for 50 years though. Lived the life of a fake male without realizing I was doing it. For 50 years, I thought I was a fairly typical white male Christian hetero.
Then I discovered it was a facade. 50 years of totally fake made-up existence. The only thing I retained, is I'm still a Caucasian Canadian.

I don't think sexuality is even close to as hard as being transgender.
You can be gay as hell, and fake being hetero without much effort.
And many do it just fine.
Lesbians can just be tomboys to a stranger.
But you are either transgender openly, or you can just not be your real self.
And I think stealth kills more transgender persons than hatred.
Because as hard as life can be, I'm at least not trying to commit suicide silently unseen and unknown. I don't hate ME.

Transgender numbers are likely a great deal more.
But how many survive to adult?
How many survive to 30?
I'm a very significant rare example of an older person that survived to reach 60.
But I went 50 years without being aware.
Would I have lived to 60, if I had known since I was 5?
The odds are NOT in my favour, even in Canada.

When I talk about being transgender, I do it without including gays and lesbians.
I'm not their default ally.
Every last one of them must prove themselves to me first. The same way I treat anyone straight.
I pick my friends CAREFULLY.

My thoughts on pride month: even though corporations turned it into a brand-sponsored celebration, I still appreciate the awareness (and also that the Stonewall Uprising is commemorated in any capacity), particularly when politicians in my country are trying to revert what little progress has been made with regards to the LGBTQ+ community. Although gender identity and sexual orientation aren't mutually exclusive, I do believe that there is strength in numbers, that the discrimination we face is identical (and that both are rooted in religion and anti-intellectualism), and that there's a lot of overlap (excluding allies, none of us are heteronormative [assuming the definition includes cisnormativity], pre and post-transition someone's sexual orientation can change even if their preference in partners hasn't [so a lot of us are also gay], etc.). There are people within the community who punch down but they're misguided and unfortunately it's like that in any minority group. I understand why there's infighting but it's dumb and I wish more people realized this. Division is what our enemies want. I don't ever truly feel safe anywhere—such is the life of an unwealthy black transwoman—but honestly I feel slightly more welcomed during this month, and I'll take what I can get, thank you very much.

Well Bunny, it's quite the rant. Perhaps for me something I  might dilute the following day after posting should I feel the need. But that's just  wimpy me. I can agree with you
on much of it not all.

However Anna's very articulate astute and intelligent observations are very relevant. We do need to  realise that the enemy of my enemy is my friend. What whatever  distaste we might feel for some  aspect of our  'allies'
Bluntly we are a tiny  minority. I may that perhaps that the fact we have been co opted into the LGB bubble is a double edged sword. We don't really fit but without the support we're uniquely vulnerable.

Right now so called mainstream comedians target us. Politicians think  we're a threat. Feminists believe we're a danger.

We need all  the  help we  can get.

I'm so glad I'm not an American.

I'm glad I don't live in a country with easy access to guns.

I'm glad I'm not suffering under the weight of the desire for revenge.

I'm glad I don't live in a place that hates abortion and hates transgender persons.

I'm glad I'm not forced to suppress angry feelings.

Because I grew up with the thought process, that the best defense is a good offense.

If I was American, could I actually live in a place like Texas? And do nothing about the persecution?

I don't really know.
If I was still 30, what would my reaction be?

Because I harbour a lot of harsh thoughts. Thoughts that fortunately are not required here in Canada.

I see Christianity as the enemy. I see Republicans as the enemy.
I might like to 'get rid of the enemy'.

As an atheist, there are no limitations on my actions like there might supposedly be as a 'God fearing person'. I don't live in fear of something that doesn't exist to me.

A lot of questions that fortunately I don't need to ask, and as such don't need answers to.

Because I'm not American.

As a Canadian, I have the Charter of Rights and Freedoms, which I'm willing to state is better written than the US constitution in some cases. I have the Human Rights code, which is federal and takes priority over the lesser courts. And I only have 10 provinces, not 50 states available to argue over anything.

The US DOES have the world's largest economy. And apparently, that statement isn't really worth much if you are Joe Nobody. It has racism and denies it does. It pretends to be secular, and it isn't. It's dominated by the Christian view of the Bible. And the worst part is Joe Nobody can't really read the 2nd correctly, and clearly can't read the entire Bible. And corporate America couldn't care less.

There is NO reason for LGBT hate based on the Bible.
God IS ok with abortion.
God IS ok with slavery, and a whole host of things supposedly not permitted by the commandments.
And the US government is supposedly separate from the church. But remember, in God they trust, and So help me God. The US is NOT secular at all.

If I was 'stuck' in the US, and subjected to the hate, I'm not sure I'd do nothing.
I'd fight back, and not with a fucking sign in a parade.
I'd be harsh, and final, and from out of the dark of night. I'd be unfair, and cold blooded.
No warning, no threat. No admissions, and no blathering about it online.
And my enemies would know what never ending all day every day fear felt like.
And I would not care if I didn't get credit.

Because revenge is a dish best served cold.
And to my military mind, results are all I'd need.

This is a very much more difficult subject than many may believe.... I have written before upon just this. For though I agree, (and liked), Bunny's post, I have always maintained that as a very tiny minority, (the UK estimate is around 0.3% for all forms of transgender up to 0.5 to include non-binary etc.), we do need to be part of the larger umbrella that includes the various sexual orientations....

....which is actually strange and not entirely germane to who, the majority, of us actually are.

For we are not about sexual orientation, there is nothing gay about us. I consider myself straight, I prefer men. If you happen to be ftm transgender and you prefer women, then the LGBT tag does apply, for you are lesbian.... but even so, solely being transgender is nothing to do with sexual orientation whatsoever.... being LGB is about sexual orientation..... which in itself, when we are tagged on the end, sexualises us in the eye of the cis.

I am not sexually thrilled about being who I am, being myself has nothing to do with sex.

I know one thing for sure, I do not want any association with recreational, sexualised crossdressers and certainly do not align with drag queens.... nothing wrong with either, though I have known some very nice drag queens, lovely personalities and I am sure crossdressers can be nice people too, I simply do not know any. Do I mind being associated with gay and bisexual people? No. I don't mind, I am no bigot and have no qualms supporting their societal aims.

This thread about us and the acronym though.... I do believe standing alone probably would not help our cause, Marie has written of one of the reasons, of our terrible press.... which in itself could be the influential point of our being tagged so, at the end of this sexually orientated loaded acronym? The umbrella is big and is quite a powerful lobby group....

When I weigh it up, I say it is a close run thing, but I am for staying....

The rub is, the difference between true T and the LGB is quite immense and it is that, that should be more widely known than it is..... or else, as I have said, transgender gets sexualised.... as it stands we generally are...

Celia xx

Sorry to smother your post Bunny, we must have written at the same time.... everyone... there are two previous posts to read....

Celia xx

"The rub is, the difference between true T and the LGB is quite immense and it is that, that should be more widely known than it is..... or else, as I have said, transgender gets sexualised.... as it stands we generally are..."

" I am not sexually thrilled about being who I am, being myself has nothing to do with sex.""


Celia is correct as ever. She's a woman. I'm a woman. Lesley is a woman. I like sex but who I have sex with or who I'm attracted to has no bearing on my identity.

I wish we as a tiny minority could get that across to everyone.

Perhaps we would be less hated. A forlorn hope. Because we've been painted all too often as an existential threat to society. Thanks to the likes of J K Rowling and her ignorant nonsense. The tragedy is she believes she's being reasonable.

The sad truth of Pride month is it has nothing to offer me.

I do NOT want to march with a float of damn near naked gay men in front of me, and a bunch of weirdly dressed crossdressers behind me. And knowing there is a batch of lesbians who are all about keeping women's safe spaces safe from me, because they don't acknowledge me as a woman down the street a bit.

When I'm at a Pride anything event, I'm dressed the same way I go to buy groceries.
I might be carrying a transgender flag. But, lately, I'd rather be mistaken as a spectator.

'Strength in numbers'. Used to make sense. Until I saw my transgender brothers made to feel non-existent. They ain't considered men by gay men. Men don't have vaginas according to them. And lesbians just consider them as infiltrators seeking to gain male privilege. I'm considered a man in a dress. And they say it like my transgender brothers are not a thing. The bathroom debate is never about girls sneaking into the men's room. And it always surprises me that they have never apparently seen any of my brothers. Most transgender men after 3 years of T are men desperately seeking to get rid of breasts. They're hairy, buff-looking bearded guys, who'd look totally wrong in the lady's room.

In the beginning, I barely understood ME. I knew nearly nothing of transgender men.
I knew little of the cisgayman transgender haters. I knew little of the vicious cislesbian and cisgender females out for my skin.

THEY scare me.
I'm in Canada, so I'm spared a lot of the religious-driven hate of the US.
I'm glad I'm not in the UK, ground zero for truly hateful lesbian rhetoric.
But I'm not immune.

Pride does NOT automatically make me feel safe.
I'm always wondering, where are the transgender people? I need to keep close to them.
I'm always waiting for a lesbian knife in the back.

I feel better in a group of 5 transgender persons than I do in a mob of 10k Pride celebrants.