Heterosexuals

Trying to understand heterosexual transwomen, it doesn't really make sense to me.

What doesn't make sense is why would you want to be something you are sexually repulsed by?

For instance, if a man said beards are gross, but then grows a beard, it doesn't make sense to me. If a man says men are gross, but wants to be a man, it doesn't make sense to me. The only men that make sense to me are Duke Nukem and James Bond. Because I can imagine Duke Nukem saying, that he is a hot handsome guy with abs. I think James Bond is slightly bisexual. I can understand transwomen who are bisexual, but as a being of logic the logic of heterosexual transwomen does not add up.

In fact I find the whole idea of heterosexualism as a farce, including cis hets, and believe it only lasted to this day due to it's virtues of family making.

Ahh the thrill of sexual preferences

The thing is, I am NOT a man. The parts don't make you who you are.

Now of course, if we say gender is just a social construct, we might as well just go and apply the same brutal thinking to 'spirit' is nonsense, and the 'soul' doesn't exist. And I acknowledge that some indeed likely believe that to be so.

I'm aware a medical technician can show me with the correct machine, that I have a woman's mind. It's handy to have that advantage.

So regardless of being born in this body, the person IN it isn't the standard example of a male. As I have no male mind and as a result no real concept of what it is to even be one.

Thus my preference for men, is really just what it is, a cliche female interest in men as a heterosexual female. I like them for the same reason my mom and my cisgender sister does. I dislike aspects of them for the same reason other women might.

I don't claim to understand the other sexual preferences though. Why do girls like girls and why do guys like guys, and how exactly is it possible to be asexual and not interested in anyone at all?

But my understanding something isn't required for it to be real. But it does help me to believe in something if I understand it.

Thing is I don't believe girls actually like guys, they just use them for utilities.

I firmly believe most women are lesbians and my claims are supported by science.

Secondly I believe gender is an emotional feeling and nothing more. When I am angry and miserable I feel male. When I am happy and majestic I feel female. There is nothing more to it than that and scientists say that most brains are indiscernible from the other in terms of gender. That most brains are a blend and only the most masculine and most feminine brains can be determined.

Hmm hard to respond to that.

I suspect I'm likely an easily read hyper girlie brain then.

Guys, I want one, not sure why, I've never had one, so it's an urge I have trouble understanding. I know I don't want a girl.

I know it's hard playing house by one's self.

Well, as I have always said we are all different and just coz I don't understand why somebody prefers anything in life different to me, it does mean that I do not realise that they have different preferences to me.

I have always preferred men, whilst I dislike many of their habits and attitudes, I could only ever love a man. That is emotionally, physically and romantically. I have never wanted a woman, ever, and I realised that at a very early age. 

Just because I have pretty well always known I was born as the wrong gender has not repulsed me of that gender, quite the opposite, I have always wanted to be as attractive and desirable, sexually and romantically as possible to my preference. Every human is different.

Honestly, I like posting online more than some videogames. Posting online is more fun to me because i cannot always predict what the other person may say. With videogames its always predictable boring AI. I rub my fingers together at these posts.

Lesley Niyori wrote:Hmm hard to respond to that.

I suspect I'm likely an easily read hyper girlie brain then.

Guys, I want one, not sure why, I've never had one, so it's an urge I have trouble understanding. I know I don't want a girl.

I know it's hard playing house by one's self.

I believe you have been brainwashed by cishet norms to believe that lesbians are unfashionable.

Celia Eriksson wrote:Well, as I have always said we are all different and just coz I don't understand why somebody prefers anything in life different to me, it does mean that I do not realise that they have different preferences to me.

I have always preferred men, whilst I dislike many of their habits and attitudes, I could only ever love a man. That is emotionally, physically and romantically. I have never wanted a woman, ever, and I realised that at a very early age. 

Just because I have pretty well always known I was born as the wrong gender has not repulsed me of that gender, quite the opposite, I have always wanted to be as attractive and desirable, sexually and romantically as possible to my preference. Every human is different.

I have only ever fallen in love with other males mostly. But I am sexually attracted to women.
What I think it is is you want someone to love you and appreciate you. And in this day and age, we live in a cis het culture that says women are the one's to be sought after. So when you see a woman you don't expect them to love or appreciate you. But when you see a man you see a possibility that someone, a human being, will actually love and appreciate you, without you having to do most of the logistics.

You might be overthinking the matter

Women simply do nothing for me/to me.

Men make me horny.

It's no more complicated than that. That's the limit of it.

Lesley Niyori wrote:You might be overthinking the matter

Women simply do nothing for me/to me.

Men make me horny.

It's no more complicated than that. That's the limit of it.

I think this is a learned behavoir due to social norms and treatment. Society treats males like they have to chase women, and that they have to "earn" the right to have a woman by either having confidence, being an alpha male, or fitting the male role of a provider or protector figure. Your mind subconsciously associates all that as arduous baggage, so when you see a woman your mind disables its automatic sexual reflex. Instead you would rather be the focus of someone's affection, rather than a soldier chasing after a stationary mirage.

Again, you might be overthinking.

I know I'm female because I LIKE the cliche's and the stereotypes and the expectations of social conditioning (well to a point).

I expect fair pay, fair play, and all that is legal. I want to have a vote. I am not property.

But I WANT a world where the husband is the provider and I provide the solid foundation home for the family. Men are inherently stronger, tougher, and inherently suitable. Yeah, some males are short, scrawny, and weak. Some females are tall, brutish and muscular. Big deal. There are exceptions to everything.

And being transgender, don't I know it.

I was laughing with a friend on the phone not long ago about wanting a cowboy. He said Lesley, they are routinely getting stomped on the head by bulls, and thrown on their head by horses, and not exactly much of a catch as a result. He suggested I aim for contractors. Less chance I find a brain-damaged specimen.

Lesley Niyori wrote:Again, you might be overthinking.

I know I'm female because I LIKE the cliche's and the stereotypes and the expectations of social conditioning (well to a point).

I think most people would rather be stay at home moms folding laundry than having to go out in the savage competitive work arena environment of the modern day. I don't think most men nowadays actually enjoy the roles enforced upon them, it implies a certain sense of male worthlessness and that he must prove his worth before he is loved.

Angelic wrote:I think most people would rather be stay at home moms folding laundry than having to go out in the savage competitive work arena environment of the modern day. I don't think most men nowadays actually enjoy the roles enforced upon them, it implies a certain sense of male worthlessness and that he must prove his worth before he is loved.

Yes and no. As someone who currently is staying at home folding laundry, something I actually should be doing right now instead of writing this. It turns out that this is what I've always wanted out of life. Stay at home Mother of two children with a working spouse in a well paid job. Except that I was born male and my spouse is my wife, a woman. The fact that I'm transgender probably means I more readily accept this state of affairs. But even I sometimes wish I had some form of job.

It's easy to project one's own perception of the world onto other people. I do think many if not most men enjoy their roles and don't see them as enforced. I also know many women for whom staying at home being a housewife would be their nightmare. In fact my wife, while she says she envies me being at home realistically wouldn't survive it and would have to find other interests. In fact all of her sisters carried on with their careers after having children and they're not feminists. On the other hand all my married sisters gave up their jobs to be housewives just like me. My brother wryly commented lately that he was the last member of the family with a proper job. He loves his job too.

For many men having to stay at home folding laundry would be a nightmare. Not just because they might feel a perceived loss of masculinity but because it's not much fun.


I don't believe all heterosexual people are potentially gay or bisexual or lesbian. When the circumstances are right almost anyone has the potential to have sex with their own gender. It doesn't mean it's their preference. Sex shops sell toys and dolls for men to have sex with. If you can have sex with an object, how much better it is with a human of either sex? I've always been bisexual. I wasn't attracted to girls as a teenager because of 'cishet norms'. I was simply sexually attracted to them. On the other hand I found myself attracted to guys despite cishet norms but even at the time if you asked me I would have called myself straight with an interest in guys. To me that's instinctive.

These days I would say I'm more attracted to men while still finding women attractive. You could say that being trans and thus female I am not unlike other women and therefore a potential lesbian. But I still believe that women might well  be more open to same sex relationships but their preference is still men. My wife was hit on by a lesbian once and she admitted she considered it.


Sometimes what we call conditioning and social stereotypes are actually that because they are in fact a common experience and basically instinctive. In fact that instinct to have sex is what most conditioning is put in place to control it particularly religious morality. No sex before marriage and then sex only with your partner. The human instinct is to reproduce but in society uncontrolled reproduction is not a good thing. So rules were made which made sense in more primitive days but look like repression now.


Anyway I have get dinner now. I have to say I never expected that when I was married and had children that I would end up effectively a housewife and like it. I thought I wanted to be a fighter pilot.

I was raised by a cliche stereotypical 1950s era housewife who really wanted to be a nurse. So my main role model didn't provide that role model by desire.

She was a superb housewife, and is still with us today.
I'd be ok being a version of my mom.

But I'm the exception. I have yet to meet a single person who wishes my life ambition. Not one. Not one single person male/female, straight, LGBT, not one.

Lesley Niyori wrote:I was raised by a cliche stereotypical 1950s era housewife who really wanted to be a nurse. So my main role model didn't provide that role model by desire.

She was a superb housewife, and is still with us today.
I'd be ok being a version of my mom.

But I'm the exception. I have yet to meet a single person who wishes my life ambition. Not one. Not one single person male/female, straight, LGBT, not one.

Dunno. I think half of males today would rather stay at home and not work.
Of those males, I think half of them would rather be a female than a male, that is if they got to keep their penis.

mariehart1 wrote:
For many men having to stay at home folding laundry would be a nightmare. Not just because they might feel a perceived loss of masculinity but because it's not much fun.

Going to have to stop you right there. I think these men are confused. So working and being an obedient slave to the state, working long hours in a rat race at a cubicle, or doing repetitive work at a factory makes them feel masculinity?

You put in the laundry, then you take a break, sit on the couch and drink a soda. Maybe play videogames or a board game with your kid. Or go camping with your kid or putt putt. Or give your home work help and secretly feel like a genius while doing so. Buy some amy's frozen dinners so you don't even have to cook, just put it in the toaster. This is the dream life.

You are not describing males OR females.

They're called 'lazy' actually.

A. I expect a man to work hard all day at whatever he does for employ. Minumum wage or not, an honest day's work is all I require of him.
B. I expect to work hard all day at my role. Which is in part deserving of his own hard days work. That means no attending to laundry in a casual fashion. No TV, no couch, no games.

If my man arrives home after a day's work, and his woman (me) hasn't matched him, I expect to be treated precisely as he would be treated at work if he attended to his job there the same way.

He gets home, there is no laundry left undone, no room left uncleaned, his dinner is ready before he enters the home. In short, my work is done or else.

Lesley Niyori wrote:You are not describing males OR females.

They're called 'lazy' actually.

A. I expect a man to work hard all day at whatever he does for employ. Minumum wage or not, an honest day's work is all I require of him.
B. I expect to work hard all day at my role. Which is in part deserving of his own hard days work. That means no attending to laundry in a casual fashion. No TV, no couch, no games.

If my man arrives home after a day's work, and his woman (me) hasn't matched him, I expect to be treated precisely as he would be treated at work if he attended to his job there the same way.

He gets home, there is no laundry left undone, no room left uncleaned, his dinner is ready before he enters the home. In short, my work is done or else.

Rooms don't need to be cleaned daily nor does laundry.

So, I guess it really would depend upon just how clean you want your house or apartment. Well used rooms, such as the living room, kitchen and bathroom require daily attention. There is ceilings walls floors curtains skirting sills windows furniture cooker sinks surfaces utensils plants lampshades electrical equipment bath sink latrine toothpaste cups silverware ceramics flowers paperwork family event organisation cutlery cupboards drawers freezer fridge etc etc. as well as many other things. 

Laundry includes bedding clothes cushions soft furnishings shoe and other peripharies, and more that quite slips my mind just now. Then there is trash to deal with, garden, hours of self maintenance!, cooking shopping errands and plenty more I can't think of.

Well, ok, some of these chores, I do on rotation, but it is no small beer!

The only thing that amazes me is how I do it, living alone and working long shifts and still find time for golf, whist and badminton.....  The long, seemingly endless shifts?.... nursing. Maybe I am not unlike your Mother Lesley, except I have no wish to be a 50's housewife....

Celia xx

Celia Eriksson wrote:So, I guess it really would depend upon just how clean you want your house or apartment. Well used rooms, such as the living room, kitchen and bathroom require daily attention. There is ceilings walls floors curtains skirting sills windows furniture cooker sinks surfaces utensils plants lampshades electrical equipment bath sink latrine toothpaste cups silverware ceramics flowers paperwork family event organisation cutlery cupboards drawers freezer fridge etc etc. as well as many other things. 

Laundry includes bedding clothes cushions soft furnishings shoe and other peripharies, and more that quite slips my mind just now. Then there is trash to deal with, garden, hours of self maintenance!, cooking shopping errands and plenty more I can't think of.

Well, ok, some of these chores, I do on rotation, but it is no small beer!

The only thing that amazes me is how I do it, living alone and working long shifts and still find time for golf, whist and badminton.....  The long, seemingly endless shifts?.... nursing. Maybe I am not unlike your Mother Lesley, except I have no wish to be a 50's housewife....

Celia xx

If by attention, you mean you made some nachos, and you spilled some cheese, then yes you have to pick up the cheese in the kitchen.

If you mean by bathroom attention, you took a bath and have to clean the dirt, then yes.

Otherwise no.


PS: You shouldn't take a bath every day, it isn't natural. The only people who must bathe everyday are those who roid rage. In the olden days the best smelling person in the world was the Queen and she took a bath once a month.
Some Queens only bathed twice in their life.

Angelic wrote:
Dunno. I think half of males today would rather stay at home and not work.
Of those males, I think half of them would rather be a female than a male, that is if they got to keep their penis.

No for most it would be their worst nightmare. Male privilege is a real thing. They don't want to give it up.

Angelic wrote:

mariehart1 wrote:
For many men having to stay at home folding laundry would be a nightmare. Not just because they might feel a perceived loss of masculinity but because it's not much fun.

Going to have to stop you right there. I think these men are confused. So working and being an obedient slave to the state, working long hours in a rat race at a cubicle, or doing repetitive work at a factory makes them feel masculinity?

You put in the laundry, then you take a break, sit on the couch and drink a soda. Maybe play videogames or a board game with your kid. Or go camping with your kid or putt putt. Or give your home work help and secretly feel like a genius while doing so. Buy some amy's frozen dinners so you don't even have to cook, just put it in the toaster. This is the dream life.

Going to have to stop YOU there. They're not confused. They are not slaves to the state. They like what they do, it defines them.

As for the rest you do have a rather idealised view of being a parent, yes you can put in the laundry but there's always something else to do. Play videogames? Once upon a time I could but not now. It's non stop, always on duty always something happening, somewhere to drive them, some reason to console them. Frozen dinners? No chance. I cook fresh dinners for me, my wife and my kids. The toaster is for toast.

There's always something, right now I got them to bed, my wife is gone long ago. She does very little except criticise my efforts. You can almost expect one or other to walk in needing water or reassuranse. Tomorrow morning I have to get up, wake them, make breakfast, make their lunch, rush them into the car. Answer all their questions, come home eat something, do laundry, wash the floor, do all the other chores, collect them from school, bring one to a birthday party, buy dinner, sweep the floor, do laundry etc etc. Cook dinner, make them do their homework, force them to bed.

Day after day after day.

Yes a dream life for me. But not easy. It's never easy. I live it every day.


Have no illusions.

I'm guessing 'lazy' is a term that might annoy some of us.

If my husband works an 8-hour shift each day of the week, I am going to match him doing 8 hours of housework a day.

Perhaps I like cleaner more than some people.
It's easier to clean my me only apartment than it would be to clean my me and his apartment. Mostly because if I don't feel like cleaning room X or doing the laundry right now, I'm not required to worry.

I've been married, 27 years in fact. She was a total slob too. It takes no time for a slob to ruin a room. They can take it from clean and could last a week, to need to clean it immediately regardless of how clean it was yesterday.

Cleaning today's clothing and some non-clothing laundry is easier than laundering your entire wardrobe. And it takes longer to launder after a week than it does to launder at the end of the day.

Housework is as hard as you make it.
I usually have the pots and pans clean before the meal is even served. I don't wait till later to wash off set on food. And no, I don't own a dishwasher. I AM the dishwasher. I don't use a Swiffer, it's called a mop and a bucket. I'm used to old school cleaning.

I'm willing to make my husband's home a castle and him a king. It's hard to be a queen without a king eh. If he's wise and makes me smile, I can assure you he leaves the home on his way to work smiling too.

I'm not looking for a man to be a meal ticket. I've already got the Ontario Government covering that. I'm looking for someone that wants to hold me in his arms. I want someone that wants to watch a sunset with me. I want someone to lean against as I read a book on the sofa. I want a hand to hold as I go shopping. I don't need a man for his wallet. I need a man for his heart.

I'm not looking for a deadbeat to use up half of my living space. And I sure don't wish to be a man's deadbeat wife.

You all make me lol.

Expect a real reply in a few minutes.

mariehart1 wrote:

Angelic wrote:
Dunno. I think half of males today would rather stay at home and not work.
Of those males, I think half of them would rather be a female than a male, that is if they got to keep their penis.

No for most it would be their worst nightmare. Male privilege is a real thing. They don't want to give it up.

mariehart1 wrote:

Angelic wrote:
Dunno. I think half of males today would rather stay at home and not work.
Of those males, I think half of them would rather be a female than a male, that is if they got to keep their penis.

No for most it would be their worst nightmare. Male privilege is a real thing. They don't want to give it up.

Male privilege is a thing for upper class and rich males. For the majority of males, the ones at the bottom, they would gladly give up their soul crushing jobs to be a stay at home dad.

mariehart1 wrote:
Going to have to stop YOU there. They're not confused. They are not slaves to the state. They like what they do, it defines them.

You must be God and can psychically read the minds of all 4 billion males on the planet.
Because that's not how I see it.
I see men at factories, depressed men in cubicles, poor asians in the paddy fields working for a bowl of rice, none of them seem very happy to me.
I see outliers, men-who-made it, the unique, the unusual, the "special", writing success stories to give hope to the majority (the downtrodden.)

And they are very much slaves to the state, it is a fact, the must obey the state, pay fines and fees, obey, or else suffer wrath from the police state.

mariehart1 wrote:
As for the rest you do have a rather idealised view of being a parent, yes you can put in the laundry but there's always something else to do. Play videogames? Once upon a time I could but not now. It's non stop, always on duty always something happening, somewhere to drive them, some reason to console them. Frozen dinners? No chance. I cook fresh dinners for me, my wife and my kids. The toaster is for toast.

There's always something, right now I got them to bed, my wife is gone long ago. She does very little except criticise my efforts.  You can almost expect one or other to walk in needing water or reassuranse. Tomorrow morning I have to get up, wake them, make breakfast, make their lunch, rush them into the car. Answer all their questions, come home eat something, do laundry, wash the floor, do all the other chores, collect them from school, bring one to a birthday party, buy dinner, sweep the floor, do laundry etc etc. Cook dinner, make them do their homework, force them to bed.

Day after day after day.

Yes a dream life for me. But not easy. It's never easy. I live it every day.


Have no illusions.

Buy Amy's frozen dinners.

Get schools to provide their own (organic) lunches. You have the average ignorant junk-food obsessed american to blame.

Secondly kids shouldn't be made to do their homework they should do it on their own. And why do your kids need constant reassurance? About what exactly?

Lesley Niyori wrote:I'm guessing 'lazy' is a term that might annoy some of us.

If my husband works an 8-hour shift each day of the week, I am going to match him doing 8 hours of housework a day.

I think you are very swamped with guilt. But if you want to extend your guilt to the next level, you should actually try the homeless lifestyle or lifestyle of the poor. You must bear the cross of suffering of the most unfortunate people. You must work 3 jobs, this way you feel no guilt at all because your life is no better than anyone else's.

Or you can just, realize that there's nothing wrong with not having to suffer as much as other people.

Perhaps I like cleaner more than some people.
It's easier to clean my me only apartment than it would be to clean my me and his apartment. Mostly because if I don't feel like cleaning room X or doing the laundry right now, I'm not required to worry.

I've been married, 27 years in fact. She was a total slob too. It takes no time for a slob to ruin a room. They can take it from clean and could last a week, to need to clean it immediately regardless of how clean it was yesterday.

Cleaning today's clothing and some non-clothing laundry is easier than laundering your entire wardrobe. And it takes longer to launder after a week than it does to launder at the end of the day.

Laundry, like bathing, should be done once every 2-4 days.

Housework is as hard as you make it.
I usually have the pots and pans clean before the meal is even served. I don't wait till later to wash off set on food. And no, I don't own a dishwasher. I AM the dishwasher. I don't use a Swiffer, it's called a mop and a bucket. I'm used to old school cleaning.

I'm willing to make my husband's home a castle and him a king. It's hard to be a queen without a king eh. If he's wise and makes me smile, I can assure you he leaves the home on his way to work smiling too.

There is some truth to this. Slobby people are generally depressed and unhappy. Therefore if your spouse is a slob, it means they are unhappy with the relationship.

I'm not looking for a man to be a meal ticket. I've already got the Ontario Government covering that. I'm looking for someone that wants to hold me in his arms. I want someone that wants to watch a sunset with me. I want someone to lean against as I read a book on the sofa. I want a hand to hold as I go shopping. I don't need a man for his wallet. I need a man for his heart.

I want that too except I want a woman not a man.

I'm not looking for a deadbeat to use up half of my living space. And I sure don't wish to be a man's deadbeat wife.

I want someone who isn't boring to be around, someone who doesn't just watch the news all day, but plays exciting videogames and maybe even a little extra money to spend.

Skill at being able to copypaste doesn't imply your comments are magical Angel.

I'd refute anything in your post if it was worth it.

But not one of your replies accomplished anything.
I'm unsure what YOU are expecting out of this dialogue Angel.

You sound angry and pissed off, and bitter, and, well, that seems to sum up most of your posts.

Lesley Niyori wrote:Skill at being able to copypaste doesn't imply your comments are magical Angel.

I'd refute anything in your post if it was worth it.

But not one of your replies accomplished anything.

Clearly it did not.

I'm unsure what YOU are expecting out of this dialogue Angel.

I keep my expectations low.