Hi, I'm new and not sure where to start?

I was born a male, but always wanted to be female. I am 27 and I am not sure if I will have the courage to ever come out as trans. I feel like I have missed the window, so long story short I had a chance to come out when I was younger, and I blew and I wanted to say yes so much, but the words automatically came out as no. No, one would ever guess that I would want to be a woman, I'm straight acting, but deep down...

I have a good paying job, that I just started. I am not sure how they would react, I knew my past job would not accept that I would come out as trans.

A few years ago, I was a dark part of my life. Won't go too much into detail, but my parents asked if I was trans, I wanted to say yes so bad, however, I automatically said no. My dad seemed more accepting than my mom, I grew up with two sisters at home, and my mom, My dad was always working, so only saw him on weekends. So, I was drawn to feminine things, however, I really never showed it. I always wanted to have my dad's approval, so I tried to act mainly. He, never said go play football or things but I just assumed that's what he wanted.

Now, that I just started this job, and that I told my parents I wasn't trans, I feel like I missed my timing. I'm 27, so I feel like I have missed my biological timing as well, I am quite big 5'11, and my feet are size 12 so it is hard to find women's sandals or shoes that fit me, I can find heels that fit me, but honestly I'm tall enough so I really don't like to stand out that much. I prefer flats or something similar.

So it get's quite depressing, I know I won't ever be the ideal type women even if I did transition, but I don't think I will fully be happy until, I do, but now I feel so trapped. I know I rambled quite a bit, and not sure if my message was clear, but yeah. I also go by Emily. So it's nice to meet you all.

Welcome, Emily!

Your story is uniquely yours, but many of the strands of it are familiar, and I suspect many of us here recognise parts of them.

Don't worry about 27. I'm 60, sort of halfway transitioned, wondering and sometimes frustrated if I ever will fully, but happy with the parts I have done. My solution is to live healthily to 120, so I'm only middle age, taking care of myself.

59 here and I began at 50.

It's not too late dear. Not even close.

5'11", I know of several transgender girls who'd call you short

If your dad was not overtly against it, he likely already knows. Sounds like you might have a better family than you realize.

But only you can make that decision.

Not sure what an 'ideal woman' is supposed to be. I like bunnies and bears and tanks and Barbies and Legos. I'm an ex-military expert in 20th-century warfare, and I'm as girlie as it gets. I'm told I'm cute and look 40. What exactly is an ideal woman?

Same story, Emily, more or less. I was 35 when I started HRT and I always worried I was "too late".
No such thing, if course. You just live your best life and do what You need to stay happy and healthy.
Therapy/counselling are not dirty words, and certainly helped myself to accept Me.
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